Second Chances
by Mccorv3
Summary: Beth is dead… or is she? Image if the universe gave our little heroine another chance to change some of the choices she made in life. Would Beth be able to change her fate? Or are we all doomed no matter the changes we might make?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome to my newest story. This first chapter is very dark and may be very hard to read for some since there are some suicide triggers and character deaths. So if you decide to skip this story I will understand. Please let me know your thoughts on the story, I have a couple more chapters lined up and want to make sure the story is on the right path for all my great readers.**

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 **SECOND CHANCES**

 _Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us._

Paul Theroux

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 **CHAPTER 1**

BANG.

There was a sudden blinding white, followed by the darkest black. And then nothing, there was absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

It was a concept, this nothingness that surrounded her, that came to Beth in a sudden wave of understanding. It wasn't an idea one could understand or even try to comprehend until it had happened to them. The absolute end of everything. The end of you, the world, of the future and the past. Abruptly everything was nothing… nothing was your new everything.

Beth was dead; she was nothing. Beth knew she had died… or at least she thought she understood she was dead. She couldn't feel anymore. She heard no sounds and could see none of the world she had just suddenly left. But somehow Beth knew what was happening. She just knew.

Dawn was pleading, her sputtering words escaped her frowning mouth as she tried to explain the accident that had just taken Beth's life. Daryl was pulling his gun with a face crumbling in hurt. There was another blasting gun shot and it was over. She was dead. Dawn was dead. Noah would be safe. Rick would make sure Noah would be leaving with her group and family.

Her rescue party of family and friends were standing in shock, some of them openly weeping. Beth couldn't see them or hear them exactly but she knew it was true all the same. She just knew it. It was the same way that Beth knew Daryl had folded her limp form into his arms as he carried her body away from that awful, cursed place. She couldn't feel it as she was raised up, but Beth knew his strong arms held her body tight to his chest. His chest hitched under his breaking breaths as Daryl carried her down the stairs and out into the brilliant light of day. Beth could feel none of this, could hear nothing, but it was all happening and she knew it was the truth. It was all her fault and Beth knew it.

Maggie was screaming, her shrieks of grief and agony piercing the quiet, heavy air. Glenn held his wife, his own cries muffled against her. Michonne was as stoic as ever except for the tears streaming down her face. Sasha's eyes were glazed over, looking dazed. Tyreese, Carl, Judith, Rick and Carol were all there. Her whole family was there. They were safe, they were alive, and Beth knew she had screwed up.

She was dead.

She was gone.

She was nothing.

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There was nothing, dark and endless. Then fierce whiteness came surging forward and hurtled her into existence again.

Her breath came with a fearsome force, surging back into her empty lungs. A rush of air burned Beth with a dire hurt, stealing her voice and stopping her from crying out in agony. Her teary eyes blinked back against the scorching pain.

The pain made Beth realize she wasn't dead anymore. She was alive… wasn't she?

 _No._

She was dead. At her core, Beth knew she had died. She had sensed it as her life left her body in an instant, never even feeling her body as it crumbled to the floor at Grady Hospital. She was dead. She had died. And here she was breathing… again?

There was glass in her hand, the cold shard against her palm. Her tear-blurred eyes saw a familiar sight, one that made her heart ache. Beth was at home on her family's farm. She was in the bathroom; the blue tile was all around her. She didn't know what was happening. She was dead and then she was breathing. She was alive, but Beth still felt so empty and hollowed out.

The pounding at the door jolted her, sending another shock to her system. Beth heard a voice, she thought it was Lori and she was calling Maggie's name. But it couldn't be Lori, the woman was dead. Beth was dead. They were all dead.

"She's in there. I heard glass," Maggie said desperately from the other side of the bathroom door.

And then Beth knew _when_ she was. She didn't take the time to try to understand, she didn't want to understand. She couldn't, Beth just couldn't let her mind explore the possibilities of what was happening to her. She was dead. Beth knew she was dead.

The voice that used to be Lori's was at the door. It asked, "Beth? You all right?"

Beth shook her head violently, willing this not to be happening. Tears were streaming down her face and she found it hard to breathe, to take in anymore air into her body. She was dead. Lori was dead. Her father was dead. Her mom was dead. Shawn was dead. T-Dog was dead. Patricia and Jimmy were dead. Otis was dead. Zach was dead. Bob was dead. Lizzie and Mika were dead. Andrea was dead. Dead. _Dead._ They were all dead.

"Don't do this, Beth, don't do this. Open up, please," her sister pleaded with her. Maggie didn't understand. She never understood why Beth had locked herself in the bathroom the first time. How could she? Maggie had never died.

"I left her with Andrea," Maggie told the other dead woman, Lori.

Lori asked in a rushed voice, "Where is the key?" Lori was dead. She just didn't know it yet. Beth might as well be too. She didn't want to see it again. Beth didn't want to watch Maggie emerge from the bowels of the prison clutching the bloody bundle to her chest. She remembered how her sister's face screwed as Maggie tearfully let Rick know his wife's fate. Never again did she want to see the emptiness of Carl; no child should have to do what he was forced to do. She couldn't. It was all too much.

"I don't know," responded Maggie, her hand shaking the door knob.

And then Beth knew she didn't have much time. She couldn't do this again Beth thought rashly, live that life of running, hiding, and watching loved ones die in horrible and meaningless ways. Beth wasn't going to force herself to live that way again. She was dead. She was supposed to be dead. It hurt; every memory and sensation flooding back to her hurt too much to bear. Her head, her heart, and her body were buzzing with the pain.

Beth pressed the glass hard against her wrist, blood welling up from the wound. It hurt but it was dull compared to everything else that was happening to her.

"Beth, honey, please open the door. I'm not mad. I'm not mad, Beth." Maggie was speaking to her in quiet desperation. Maggie would never accept Beth's chosen path. She was strong and brave and breathing. Her sister wasn't dead… not yet.

She cut again, slicing deeper and harder than before. _Before?_ She had done this before, in a past so distant it was almost nonexistent. Beth dragged her makeshift blade along her other forearm deeper than she thought she dared to go. The pain was unreal and echoed what was at her soul. Blood poured out of her wounds, dripping to the floor as she looked up at the broken mirror to see her fractured self.

The two women beyond the door were moving, shuffling around loudly. Beth staggered forward, her hands going to grip the porcelain sink before her. The blood caused her grip to slip and she stumbled, falling hard to her knees. Red stained the white porcelain and her clothes, her blood flowing steadily out of her body. Her mind was swaying and swirling, the sights in front of her started to fade to gray.

 _What did it matter?_ Beth knew it didn't, none of it. It was either now or it was later. Either way she was dead. Beth had to keep telling herself that even though her body was betraying her and taking a giant hitching breath, she was still dead. Her death wouldn't matter to anyone. Her mother was gone and her father would be following soon. Beth knew Maggie had never looked for her after the fall of the prison. She _knew_ it. Beth wasn't sure how or when or why but she knew she had been lost and no one had even bothered to look for her. She was weak. She was nothing. She was gone and then she had been dead.

Beth knew she didn't matter to anyone, not really. No one cared. She wasn't sorry she had done this, choosing to end her life before more awfulness was forced upon her. There was no reason to live. She meant nothing to no one.

 _Daryl._

He had cared. The certainty hit her as his name echoed in her head again. _Daryl_. During their time together, it was true she had gotten him to care. _They had time together_? It was all getting hazy but there were memories flooding her as she let her body fall hard against the cold floor. Visions of their time together that changed with the pounding at the door behind her.

 _Their fight at the shack._

 _Her awkward and frantic embrace._

 _Their burning salute to the past._

 _The flower at the graveside._

 _His request for her to sing for him._

 _The look shared between them as their eyes locked._

Daryl had cared. He had searched for her. The blackness was taking her, leading her back to the nothing. _Daryl_. The bathroom door busted open, allowing white light to pour in.

In an instant Beth knew it. She had messed up again. Maggie was screaming her name again, rushing forward to take her sister into her arms. There was so much blood, slick and wet and warm. She heard Lori shouting for help; it was amazing how loud the dead could be. None of it mattered. It was already done; the fault lay completely with her.

Beth was dead. Again.

She was gone.

She was nothing.

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Beth was dead... but this time there wasn't nothing. This time there was her anger, balled and twisted up at her center. Some of her wrath was directed at the world filled with walkers. She was equally pissed at Dawn and the perverse system at the hospital. Her emotions teetered from disappointed to enraged at her sister, Maggie, and her abandonment. Mostly, however, Beth was just furious at herself. She killed herself… twice. Once at the hospital on a stupid and impulsive move. And then again, a repeat of another low time in her life, when she gave into temptation and the lure of death.

She was dead… and then she wasn't. It was as if she opened her blue eyes from a blink; a blink that lasted an eternity and a fraction of a second at the same time. She was alive and not at the hospital and not at the farm. It was then, even before she recognized her concrete surroundings that this whole, strange experience was about second chances. For some reason and somehow, Beth was being given a second chance at life for a second time… or a third? Or had it been more? It didn't matter, Beth realized. What mattered was the fact that she wasn't dead… at least not yet.

Blinking her eyes rapidly a few more times, Beth looked around herself. _When was she? Was it too late?_ The thoughts flooded her mind as her location became apparent to her. The prison walls surrounded her; the dank and dreary building actually lifted her spirits for once. Beth could hear voices around her, familiar ones from her extended family and refugees from Woodbury.

An explosion erupted outside the walls, shaking the foundation of the prison. Screams filled the air as Beth steadied herself from the shock. People started running in all directions as she made her way outside.

 _No!_ Her mind shouted as the understanding of when she was came rushing to her. The Governor was attacking for the second time and he had her father. Beth knew she needed to stop it; she needed to set things on a different path. She had one chance before to change her path and had not used it wisely. Beth wasn't going to waste this chance now.

Beth raced to the fence, taking her place next to her sister. The scene was playing out before her just as it had done before. She didn't want to see her father die again. Beth didn't know if she could bear to watch it again, her whole body starting to tremble. She wasn't dead. Her father didn't have to be dead either.

She clutched the weapon in her hands, her fingers twisting along the hard, cold metal of the rifle that had found its way to her grasp. Beth had done nothing last time. She had believed Rick could save them, her father and Michonne. She had hoped the Governor could be reasoned with, that the bloodshed could be avoided. Beth had prayed.

This time Beth knew better.

Rick was talking at the fence line. His voice was loud but calm and steady as he addressed the aggressing army at their gates. Her father and Michonne were on their knees, their hands bound behind them. Hershel's eyes were focused on his daughters. He knew.

Beth raised her rifle, taking aim at the crazed man with an eye patch as he tightened his grip on the sword.

"What are ya doin'?" questioned Maggie, her sister's voice wavering.

Aiming carefully as she had been taught, the way Daryl had instructed, Beth ignored her sister. The sister who hadn't looked for her the last time the prison had fallen. The sisters had been lost to one another but it had been more than that. Somehow, some way, Beth knew Maggie, the closest person in the world to her, hadn't even thought about looking for her. Beth hadn't been Maggie's priority, not her star to search for.

All communication had ceased in the spectacle before her, and Beth knew it was going to happen. The Governor arched the blade high in the air, the metal flashing against the bright sun. Beth released the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit the large man in the shoulder, spinning him as the sword came slicing down. The air was sucked from her lungs as the blade lowered, the steel striking her father. Blood spurted forth, red spewing out as her father's neck and chest were carved open.

There would be no change, no second chance, Beth realized. A scream escaped her as her heart broke, watching her father's death and his lifeless body falling forward. Maggie was still next to her, her agony bellowing out. How many times was Beth going to be forced to hear the anguish and pain pouring from her sister? A life-time's worth for the mistakes she had made? Was this her fate for dying, for not making the world right? Beth didn't know if she could stand the hurt-laced screams of sorrow from her sister again. Her own cries now mingled with Maggie's.

Beth didn't have to endure or wonder long. Gunfire erupted all around them. A bullet came flying at her from the opposing camp. She felt no pain again as her head rocked back, the slug burying deep into her brain. The rifle dropped from her hands, falling to the dirt at her feet.

She was dead again.

She was gone.

She was nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for the great response. I really appreciate all the reviews and feedback. A lot of people asked a lot of good questions and I hope I answered them all okay - it's hard to give complete answers without giving away the ending. This story won't be too long - probably 6 chapters so it won't take long to get all the answers you've been waiting for. Here's the next chapter - it's not as dark and one of our favorite characters makes his first appearance ;)**

BANG.

Beth pressed a shaking hand to her forehead. The pain was intense and blinding, a blaze of white agony behind her eyes. Beth squeezed her blue eyes closed so tight that all the color was gone; not even the black remained. It was all gone, just gone.

She took in a hard, sucking breath in an attempt to settle herself. Beth felt the pain start to dissipate as the cold, fresh air rushed the life back into her wavering form. She was alive again; her lungs drew in more life-affirming air. Her head was still swirling from the hurt but the intensity was fading fast. Beth still didn't understand what was happening to her. The jumping from time to time and switching of past realities continued to pile more confusion onto the young, scared woman. Beth was dead and then she was alive. She was both and she was neither.

Stumbling forward, Beth moved her numb feet move with her hand still pressed hard to the source of the pain on her forehead. She blinked her eyes open slowly. The surrounding light was present but diminishing as the sun was setting before her. The sky was bruised, deep purple bleeding magenta pink at the edges. She heard her sister's badgering call from behind her, one that told her to return to the house. Ignoring the demand, Beth straightened her staggering self and reviewed her surroundings. Beth allowed herself a moment to realize her newest location… and time.

The group had been on the road all winter, running and hiding as best they could, barely surviving. Their rag tag group was currently overnighting in a small, off the road cabin. Ten people that who starved, tired, and with fried nerves from months on the run did not make a good combination to be stuffed in a cramped one-room cabin. Beth had been unable to stand her over-bearing sister's orders, the tension between Rick and Lori,or the constant suffocating threat of death for one moment longer. It had all just become too much for the young woman. She had bolted out of the cabin with no goal in mind but a few precious moments of alone time to try and gather her thoughts. Beth couldn't remember the last time she had been alone; it had definitely been months ago back at her family's farm.

Her mind was brought back to the feelings of uncertainty and despair she had originally been feeling at the moment. It distracted her just enough so what happened next was almost a complete surprise again. The first time the flash of movement had scared years off her life. This time's sudden surge from the woods was still enough to cause her to gasp. The archer was silent and swift, appearing from the shadows to be suddenly before her.

"Stop," ordered Daryl in a low, rough tone. He took hold of her arm, grabbing her with a calloused hand while the other held his crossbow deftly. Daryl steadied her surprised stumble backwards.

His eyes were hard and cold as he glared down at her, pulling her to the side. "Quiet," Daryl growled as he raised his bow. Daryl sent a bolt flying into a rotten corpse as it emerged from the dark woods surrounding them, a mere few feet from where she had been. Daryl stomped over to the fallen walker, ripping his bolt from the dead eye socket.

Beth remembered how frightened she had been by the walker, by Daryl, and by everything. The first time she had ran away, dashing back to the safety and the small glowing light from the cabin. She had been terrified of the angry man in front of her when he turned back to her. His dark blue eyes narrowed and his lips snarled when he looked at her in disgust. Beth had run away, her long legs carrying her fast but not quick enough to miss his snapping comment to keep her damn eyes open.

She hadn't stood her ground. Beth had never taken the opportunity to thank Daryl for saving her that day or the next time or any time for that matter. She had always meant to express her gratitude. Along with Rick's determination, Daryl kept the group alive more than any other member. He had been their main provider of food, ensuring they were fed… even if it was squirrel.

This was her chance. Beth felt it, the vibration deep and at her center when his dark blue eyes turned back at her filled with annoyance.

His lips curled up slightly as he asked, "What the hell ya doin', girl?"

"I— I…" she stammered, her heart beating suddenly so loud and hard in her chest. She seemed to be caught between her current confidence and the terrified girl she had been almost a year ago.

"Get back inside," Daryl snapped at her as he stalked back toward her with glowering features. He waved a flippant hand toward the cabin. "Damn sister callin' out fer ya drew it in. Git and tell your sister t' shut her yap 'fore she brings a whole damn herd down upon us."

"I just needed to get out." The words finally escaped her trembling lips, blurting out in a rapid rush. "Needed some fresh air."

Daryl gestured back at the corpse in the dirt, a grey-skinned woman with long, dark hair and missing a part of her shoulder. "Fresh enough for ya?"

Her heart was pounding, thudding against her ribcage still. The blood was surging in her veins, speeding through out her body. It felt different, an almost surreal feeling to be alive, but she relished in it. It was strange how it was something you didn't notice, never paid attention to it at all, until it was gone. Once you were cold, it was overwhelming how you ached for that warm life source pumping in your body, hating yourself as it poured out of you onto the ground around you.

Beth didn't want to walk away again, to run and hide from the formidable man before her. She wasn't the same meek Beth from before as she felt a heat surge forward in her. She was angry at herself for feeling so helpless again, for being nothing against the walkers, and for her fear of Daryl. Instead, Beth straightened her spine and knew she could say what she should have all those months before. Before her was the old Daryl; he was rough, nonsensical, and scared this teenage girl as much as he had intrigued her.

"Thank you," Beth stated simply from her barely parted lips.

The look in Daryl's eyes switched to one of confusion. "What?"

Beth swallowed hard. "Thank you… for saving me just now. And for everything else too… You do so much for us, the group. I think, well, that you should know we appreciate it." There it was out there, the words were said. Beth felt a rush of weight lifted from her chest; breathing was suddenly easier than ever before.

Despite the relief she felt, the look in his eyes was unnerving as Daryl continued to stare at her. He said nothing as the seconds ticked by under his watchful eyes. The deep blue rimmed his wide pupils, enlarged from the dim light of the day fading in the background. He seemed to be considering her words, weighing them for falsities or derision, but there was none to be found. Beth had spoken the truth in the words she had said to him. She knew it in her heart, but didn't know if this earlier version of Daryl would be willing to accept them.

After what seemed like longer but was really only the breadth of a couple of seconds, Daryl responded with a noncommittal grunt. Not an acknowledgement or acceptance of her words but not a denial of them either. "Just watch where you're goin', girl," he muttered as his eyes finally broke from her gaze.

Then another revelation hit Beth with the same suddenness as the first one had. She needed Daryl to teach her survival skills now. Why wait until she was alone with Daryl? Why not learn now? Maybe that was it, the purpose behind this endlessness. Maybe that's the change she needed, the chance her family and her father needed. Maybe…

"Teach me?" Beth asked quickly.

"What?" he returned, jerking his head back to look at her again.

Daryl shot a puzzled look her way, a flash of annoyance held in his gaze. Before she had a chance to respond, her voice was stolen by the sight before her. A walker stumbled from behind a pine tree right next to them, their conversation attracting it and distracting them at the same time. It lurched toward them, directly behind Daryl's back. It reached its clawed hands and snarled with yellowed teeth without making a sound, its throat ripped open in a gaping hole.

Her mind screamed at her that this couldn't be happening. Time slowed suddenly, a familiar feeling she'd been experiencing since her _death_. Funny how when you were outside of time and life, everything could seem to happen instantly, like her switching from memory to memory, or a moment could see to last forever; a blink could last an eternity. That was what was happening in this exact moment as ice cold dread filled her center at the death creeping toward them. Beth saw everything as time all but stopped completely. The burning intensity of the archer's stare as he stood in front of her. The chilled breeze as it blew against her flushed cheeks. The stench of the dead hinted in the air, filling her nostrils. Beth knew enough to appreciate the moment, the precious millisecond the universe allowed her before all hell broke loose.

Beth knew she had already changed this reality like she had done to the others before but instead of causing her death, she was about to cause the death of the protector before her. Daryl was the one person who had believed in her and found her worth teaching. He was the one person who had cared enough to search for her when all others, even her own flesh and blood, had given up on her. The man… the friend who had made her confused at a table in a distant funeral home; someone who stirred something deep in her that not even Jimmy or Zach had been able to glimpse. No, she wasn't about to lose Daryl… not today, not yet.

With swift and confident moves of the future Beth, she leapt forward despite the protests from the muscles of the younger, untested Beth. She grabbed ahold of Daryl with her hand fisting in his plaid shirt and pulled him toward her. The surprised and stumbling man came forward with more ease than Beth had anticipated but it didn't stop her from reaching her other hand to his right hip, where she knew he kept his blade. With the same fast motion, Beth pulled the knife out as she dragged him against her, rolling Daryl off her shoulder and bringing the steel blade high up in the air. Only a grunt escaped him as Daryl took a clumsy step forward, his body now safely behind hers. Beth surged toward the walker, barely able to bring her free hand up to take hold of the biting corpse. Her hand pressed into the mushy center of the creature's chest as Beth brought the large blade forward into the eyes of the walking dead man. The corpse was large and forceful, lunging at the living flesh before it, but as soon as the knife pressed home, all life left the monster and it crumpled to the dirt.

"Hell, whatcha ya do—, "Daryl growled as whipped around in time to catch the creature's body falling to the dirt. "Fuck."

Beth turned back to him, dark blood on the blade in her fist. "Sorry. I saw it and I didn't have time to do anything else." She handed the knife out to him.

Daryl had no response at first. His eyes lingered on the fallen walker before Daryl finally raised his eyes to her again, looking at her as if he had never seen her before. His squinting eyes held hers for a long second before Daryl released his response in his telltale grunt as he slowly took the knife back from Beth.

"Where's yours? Ya shouldn't be out here without one."

"I don't have one. Carol and I… we share sometimes but I don't have my own."

Daryl cleaned the blade with his red rag before sheathing it again. "I'll get ya one."

Beth couldn't stop the upward twitch of her lips. "Thank you."

Daryl looked up at her again, his eyes narrowed at her words as if he was searching for the ulterior motive again. It pained her to realize how wounded this man had been in the beginning. That a simple thank you was something he had never heard often enough in his life to not be suspicious. Her words were honest and simple yet difficult for him to believe.

"Just fuckin' practical," Daryl finally answered. "Don't need t' thank me. Shoulda said somethin' earlier, ya coulda had your own."

"I know… I don't want to be a bother," she offered. It was the truth. The Beth of the past was a burden, a bother, someone to be protected and coddled. She had no need for her own weapon and everyone knew it.

"You ain't… a bother," he responded, words coming out quickly as if he hadn't really meant to say them but once they were out there he didn't know how to look at her. Daryl reloaded his bow instead, his head hanging low.

More words of gratitude were on the tip of her tongue. Beth wanted to say them out loud but knew not to push it. This Daryl wouldn't want them, he wouldn't know how to accept them again and she'd probably lose whatever goodwill they had developed at the moment.

So instead, Beth went with the momentum she had built and asked again, "Teach me?"

Daryl looked up at her with curious eyes. He didn't scoff at her or argue but said nothing. He just stared at her like he had before, like she was different, someone he had never _seen_ before. He hadn't. She wasn't the Beth from before. She was stronger and more confident. It must have showed, at least to the skilled and observant hunter. Noticing how she met his eyes— Beth had been too skittish in the beginning —or how she carried herself differently, strong back and straightened spine.

The longer she stood under his intense regard, the more Beth felt the need to clarify. "Not just about the walkers. I mean teach me about everythin'. I need to know how to track, to hunt, to survive. I don't know shit and well, I need to. You're the man to teach me."

Beth saw his face twitch into something that was almost a smirk at her curse. "Your dad's got t' agree," Daryl finally answered simply. "I ain't got a lot of fuckin' time to waste."

She nodded. "I won't waste your time." And she knew she wouldn't.

Daryl gave a curt tip of his head and gestured back toward the cabin. "Get back now, it's late."

Beth couldn't help the smile on her face as she turned to leave, walking back. She could feel his eyes burning on her back, knowing he was watching her intently as she headed back toward the cabin. She had changed something, it felt different. She wasn't dead. Her center wasn't cold. For the first time, there was a spreading warmth that filled her center. Beth felt… well, hell, she felt almost alive. Really _alive._

As she opened the door to the cabin, her eyes fell on her family. At least here and now they were alive. Maggie and Glenn were huddled in a corner, wrapped around each other. Her father was talking with Rick at the small center table. Carol, Lori, and Carl were sleeping in the corner. T-Dog was at the opposite window, keeping watch. They were all still alive. She was…alive? The single small fire illuminating the room grew into a blinding white brightness as Beth stepped inside the cabin.

And then she was gone.

 **A/N: Once again, this story has been wonderfully edited by ElsaEditorial. This wouldn't be nearly as good without her fine editing skills and wonderful advice. Now, if this story (as mine can be) is a little to angsty for you, please check out her latest work - Bombs Away - lots of good BETHYL times there!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long in getting this next chapter up. Life is my only excuse - 12 hour days at work, school shopping and open houses for two kids, putting our other house up for sale, my foster dogs and then add in a traveling hubby... I hope it's at least a decent excuse.**

 **Here's how I'm going to make it up to you... a little fluff in this chapter and a little more Beth and Daryl interaction.**

 **Let me know what you think :)**

One moment Beth had shut her eyes against the growing bright light as she entered the cabin and when she reopened her cornflower blue eyes, everything was different. She was on the open porch at her family farm, sitting on the bench swing. Beth had a paperback book in her hand and her legs curled up to her chest. It was cool out; spring was in the air. She was home. Beth relished in it for a moment, breathing in the fresh wild air, one that had no lingering scent of death to taint it. There was the sweet chirping of song birds, the buzzing of a nearby dragonfly, and a cow bellowing in the distance; all sounds that seemed to be absent in the impending future and were now glorious music to her ears.

Then Beth heard the car door close and saw her mother behind the wheel. She instantly knew _when_ she was. Her heart seemed to almost stop, fluttering just enough to create a lump in her throat as the weight of the day fell upon her. Today was the last time she saw her mother and Shawn alive.

A well of emotions hit Beth as the memory sieged her. She had been so angry at her mother that day. Her mother refused to let her and Jimmy study upstairs in her bedroom. Beth, an exasperating teenage girl at the time, had believed it to be incredibly unfair. She was tired of being treated like a child so of course she had refused to talk to or even look at her mother all day. Beth had always regretted her actions and attitude that day. It was one of the reasons the realization of her mother's _actual_ death had hit her so hard. Beth had allowed herself to believe in her father's desperate claim of a cure in hope she would have a chance to make it up to her mother. She needed that opportunity to let her mother know she loved her; Beth had acted silly and thoughtless. She loved her mother and needed just one chance to tell her just one more time.

She had just sat by, sullen and silent, as Shawn and her mother had passed by her just a few moments ago. Beth never responded to her mother's farewell I love you. She knew this was her chance, her last chance, and she had to take it before it was too late.

Beth threw her book down as she leapt from the swing. The white swing bench rocked back, the chains clanking loudly from the violent and sudden motion. Beth pounded down the wooden stairs, bouncing to the path below. The station wagon's rear lights turned bright red as the vehicle was put in gear.

Reaching her hand up, Beth waved it erratically as her heart thundered in her chest from the sudden physical effort as much as the surge of frantic emotions overwhelming her.

"MOM!" Beth called out loudly.

The brown station wagon continued to pull away, picking up some speed as it travelled toward the end of the driveway. Desperation filled Beth as she raced to catch up, throwing up her other arm above her head so that both were waving high and fast to catch someone's attention.

"MOM!" she bellowed louder.

The vehicle reached the end of the driveway.

Beth pleaded internally with the universe; she just needed a chance. She needed that second chance.

She gave it one final effort. "MOM!"

The station wagon started forward… and then stopped. The brake lights flashed red as the vehicle lurched to a sudden stop. Relief shot through Beth as she slowed to a jog as she approached her mother and brother. She had done it. She had stopped them from leaving the farm; they were safe now.

The driver side window rolled down as Beth made her final approach. "What, Bethy, what is it?" her mother asked as she brushed a wisp of her hair back, the part with a white streak was always falling into her face. Her poor mother's face was etched with worry as it popped out the window.

Beth smiled at her mother as she approached the window. "Mom… I just, well, I forgot to tell you we're outta milk."

"Oh, honey, I got that on the list already."

Her brother huffed in the passenger seat. "All that for milk, really, dweeb," he muttered.

Beth ignored him and placed her hand on the edge of the wagon's door. "Oh, yeah, okay."

"Is that all? We gotta go," her mother responded with a smile. "Tell your dad I wanted to get the shopping done early so I didn't wait for him like he wanted. Lord knows when that cow of Henson's will calf."

Beth felt the tightness grow in her chest again. "Mom, maybe you should wait. Maybe—"

"No, it'll be fine," her mother returned kindly with a tilt of her head.

"Mom, really, Dad said you should wait for him. You know with all the… the stuff that's been happening." There had been so many strange news reports. She remembered the worried looks her parents had exchanged.

Her mother shook her head. "I'd be waiting for your father all day then and I need those peaches for the pie for the church picnic on Sunday. Plus I want to get goin' before Maggie knows we're leaving. I want to look at that necklace she wanted, you know, her birthday is coming. Your father's got more important things than holding my hand while I shop, dearie. Besides I've got a young, strapping man to do that. Don't I, Shawn?"

Shawn grunted, his face never leaving his phone.

And then Beth knew it, felt the certainty flow through her veins. It was bitterly cold, making her whole body shiver. This was not a moment she would ever be able to change; this was destiny. Some fates could never be changed, some events were written in stone by the winds. That wasn't what this was about, whatever _this_ was. Beth would never be able to save people like her mother or father or brother. Beth understood that finally. That if she was lucky, fate was at least allowing her a couple second chances at fixing several injustices from her past as it whirled her to whatever end may be awaiting her. It was more than she could hope for; it was all that was allowed. The realization pained her, stinging her deep in her heart, but she knew the truth of it finally. She understood.

Beth took a slow, steady breath, trying to calm the rush of emotions. "Okay, Mom. I… I love you."

Her mother blinked at her before a smile appeared on her face, one of those wonderfully full mom smiles. "I love you, too, Bethy."

"Suck up," snorted her brother, smirking at her from the passenger seat.

"I love you, too, Shawn," Beth responded with no malice and smiled softly at her brother. He returned a lop-sided grin to her, a twinkle in his blue-green eyes.

And then that was it. Her mother rolled the window up as Beth took a step back from the station wagon. Her mother and Shawn drove away, Beth watching as the vehicle disappeared around the bend.

They were gone.

They would be dead… they were dead.

Beth could feel herself being pulled away… but strangely, she didn't feel so _empty_. She wasn't _nothing_ anymore. Something was different but before Beth could put a name to it she was… she was gone.

 _ **TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD**_

The final thought Beth had as she watched her family drive away from her was that this was the last time she had felt a sense of normalcy. It was the last time she had been a child of seventeen. Beth knew these second chances she was being given were a blessing but she was starting to desire at least one happy memory. Just once to have one that wasn't surrounded by the death of a family member or danger or hopelessness. Just one nice memory was all she was hoping for.

 _Daryl_.

It felt strange to have his name suddenly pop into her head as the darkness engulfed Beth once again, the vision of her family's farm fading away. And then she was whisked away in another flash of brilliance, spinning away and unable to dwell on the meaning of the archer creeping into her head once again.

Then the world suddenly existed for Beth once more. Or was it that she existed again? She wasn't really able to tell as she tried to gather her footing. The heat was intense; the cabin was ablaze in front of her. Beth almost jumped when she felt his touch on her arm, his rough fingers on her warm skin. It made her mouth go dry as she drew in a rushed breath. This touch was different from the one almost a year ago, when he saved her from the walker outside the cabin. Daryl's touch wasn't harsh or purposeful, like when he had pulled her out of harm's way but rather a brief connection as he graced her flesh. It was amazing in its own right from a man who rarely initiated physical contact.

Walkers were coming from the woods, drawn in by the furious fire before them. Beth, steadier on her feet, turned to follow Daryl with the heat of the burning cabin still on her back. They were made anew; the past was burned away with their fears and sadness. It was a fiery mess behind them, slowly on its way to becoming ash. Beth felt it, the difference beginning between them. It was a moment she remembered, even cherished, as everything changed around her as she moved from memory to memory and back again.

Beth followed Daryl in the dark of night, making their way along a narrow forest trail. He led them with purpose. It wasn't long before he stopped before a giant oak tree. It took Beth's eyes a moment to adjust in the dark but she saw the ladder leading up the tree; a platform was awaiting them at the top.

Daryl motioned to the platform with his chin. "Deer stand. We can stay here for the night."

His eyes met hers and Beth couldn't help the goofy smile that jumped to her face. It was more than the moonshine that was warming her center at the moment. Daryl smirked a little as she took a wobbling step to the ladder.

"Ya sure ya can make it?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

Sure, she was a little loopy still from their moonshine escapades but nothing that a brisk jog through the woods hadn't cured. "Yes," Beth drawled exaggeratedly.

Beth reached for the wooden rails, climbing slow and steady until she reached the top. Daryl followed behind, staying a moment longer on the forest floor to scan for walkers. He reached the top much quicker than she had, of course. The deer stand was small but it had a railing and was high enough to keep them safe and hidden from passing walkers. There was no other real shelter to it, no walls or roof, but it was better than dirt littered with leaves.

The stars were bright that night, almost brighter than she remembered originally as they twinkled and shone in the velvet black of night. She relished the quite peace of the night and of the man next to her. Beth wasn't sure, she never was, if this was only meant to last a moment or become a longer drawn out affair. This journey she was on seemed to only allow her fleeting repeats at moments. Even if she wasn't sure of much, Beth knew she could be sure of the man next to her, the steadfast archer who was fast becoming more than a companion or a friend in her heart.

Daryl settled back against the tree trunk. He stretched his legs out before him, crossing them at the ankle. His trusted bow was seated neatly at his side, always ready. He rested his thick arms across his broad chest, his chin tucking against it.

"Tired are we?" teased Beth softly. "Your age is showing, _Mister_ Dixon."

He huffed a snort out his nostrils. "Get some rest too, girl. We'll be safe up here till dawn. Might as well take the sleep while ya can get it." Daryl closed his eyes, his hair falling over them.

Beth remembered laying down on the wooden planks, curling up in the space against the railing. She had been close to him but not touching him while she spent the night shivering a bit. Not this night and not this time as she had a better idea. Beth moved close to Daryl, only hesitating a brief second before she dropped her weary body down next to him. Her hip touched his as she sat back next to him against the tree trunk. His body flinched noticeably but Daryl didn't move away when she didn't withdraw her touch. Beth relaxed back into the position, her shoulder now touching his too. Her long legs stretched out next to his. She drew in a deep and clean breath of the night air; it was a feeling she still couldn't keep her body from relishing in, the life-giving oxygen filling her lungs. She pulled her arms tight around herself and leaned her head against his shoulder. The warmth of him hit her immediately. The man was like a walking furnace. No wonder he was always running around without sleeves, to the delight of all the women including herself.

Her eyes closed, the weight of the day pressing heavily down upon them. This was different, them together like this. Beth was surprised how naturally perfect it seemed to her and how little he had reacted adversely to her closeness. It was all good but it didn't seem like it was enough; she felt the need to push it a little more.

"You know when I said you'll miss me when I'm gone, Daryl," she murmured quietly in the dark of the night.

She felt his chest rapidly rise and fall twice before he answered, "Yeah."

"Well… I just wanted you to know that if you were gone… and I was still here and well, I would miss you, Daryl. I would," she admitted, knowing it was true. She would miss Daryl. She did miss Daryl.

He grunted softly. "Sleep it off, Greene."

Beth leaned in closer to him, almost snuggling against him, and he didn't flinch as she did. She let sleep take her, her admission freeing her to the slumber that was calling her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited and followed this strange little story of mine. It's made my day during a run of craziness in my life - makes me smile when I get those little emails :) This story is going to continue to diverge from canon scenes - I love to think about what happens between the lines... all that we don't see! Here's another little gem with a Dixon... just not the one we all drool over!**

Being bounced back and forth from one distant past to another more recent past and back again was her existence now. It was unnerving and jarring in its own right, but it was also a constant reminder for Beth that there was no future… at least not for her. And honestly, Beth didn't know if _anyone_ in that fateful hallway had a future. Maybe her impulsive actions had destroyed any future her family and friends may have had. It was sickening, a twisting and swelling black feeling, to know she may have been the cause of her loved ones' deaths.

It lasted only a moment, or perhaps eons, but in the next instant Beth suddenly understood she hadn't. Her family and friends had not died with her in that narrow, dank hallway. She couldn't explain it; there would be no one to listen even if she could. Beth just _knew_ everyone else was alive when they left that hospital. She _knew_ it. The same way Beth knew Maggie had never looked for her and how she knew Daryl had run after her. Beth _knew_ Judith was alive with the same certainty she knew of the pain her final actions had caused for her family. Beth knew.

So when Beth was jolted into her newest reality, she realized something was different. There was a feeling, one that strummed with the steady beating of her heart that was creating a strange sensation that tingled in her fingertips. Beth took a stabilizing breath as she took in her surroundings. There was no wavering pain or confusion this time. Was she getting used to this?

Beth took in the barren concrete walls and sterile environment and instantly knew she was at the prison again. There was a mustard-colored tray in her hands with a bottle of water and a plate of steaming food. She stood there, holding the tray steady in her hands, and blinked rapidly trying to remember when she was.

"Beth? Earth to Beth?" called a familiar voice from behind her.

She turned and saw Carol standing behind her with a slightly concerned look on her face. "Beth? You okay?"

"Sure," Beth responded quickly with a smile. It was nice to see the strong, protective Carol again. While Beth had been concerned when the Grady group had brought Carol in injured, it had also been a relief to finally see a familiar face again. Elation had been hidden under the surge of worry that encompassed the young woman when she had realized how badly hurt Carol had been.

"I said your name at least five times. Are you sure you're up to the task?" asked the other woman.

Her task… yes, Beth finally recalled. She had been charged with delivering food to the captive Merle, a recent addition to a locked cell after the scuffle with Glenn while Daryl and Rick had been gone.

"Yeah, I got this, Carol," Beth returned confidently. "Just a little lost in my own thoughts. Sorry."

"Okay," Carol said, eyeing her carefully out of concern for a quick second before returning to her task. "Check on Judith when you're done, will ya? She should be up from her nap soon."

Beth nodded and continued on with her task. It felt a little strange to be back and being told what to do again. While she had been in the wild with Daryl, he had never ordered or directed her unless urgently needed due to danger. They had talked, agreed, and she had listened while he taught, of course, but Daryl had never ordered chores for her to do. Here, back at the prison, Beth had still been caught between childhood and adulthood. On the run, with him, Daryl had treated her like an equal.

She rounded the corner to the cell that was keeping the enigmatic Merle. Beth had been mad at him, seriously pissed at how he had treated Maggie and Glenn. She had also been angry with Daryl for not initially returning to the prison, and she had deflected much of that anger toward the loud and rowdy Merle, the reason for Daryl's short disappearance. Beth had done her best to act snide and aloof toward the man but she knew it never came off well. It just wasn't in her nature to act as such.

 _Perhaps it was time to change that_ , Beth thought. She decided she had that chance to do so now. She would take this opportunity and run with it. Beth felt the promise in what she had been able to accomplish in the last few repeated memories. She knew she was achieving something. She had to be, this all had to mean _something_. Beth could feel the difference, an ever so slight transformation, that courses had been changed. Even if history was just altered a little, well, maybe that would be enough. Maybe… just maybe Beth would be allowed to change her own fate. Maybe?

Merle made no movement at the sound of her approach. He lay with his back to the cell door on a cot.

"Hello, Merle," she offered easily, reaching the cell door.

He grunted in return but made no effort to turn to look at her.

"I brought you a meal. It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it," Beth said as pleasantly as she could.

Merle finally moved and threw an angry, fierce look over his shoulder. He regarded her with lifeless, pale eyes that started a shiver in her lower spine and travelled up her back slowly. She could see the cold in him. He was dead. She knew he was dead. She was dead too… wasn't she?

The older man turned over swiftly, rolling his feet over the bed's edge and rising to a sitting position. "Enjoy it, sugar tits? Not what I'd like t' enjoy," he came back at her in an easy, rumbling male voice as his eyes travelled up and down her body.

Merle smirked at the effect his nickname had on her when Beth stiffened at the name. _Sticks and stones_ , Beth reminded herself, trying to not let her smile falter.

"Well, you're just gonna have to make do, I guess, Merle. It's the _only_ thing you're gonna get," Beth retorted as she managed to keep the chipperness in her voice. "It's time to eat."

He rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his head down low. All cockiness that had been there suddenly and strangely disappeared. "What's the fuckin' point in this shitty hell anyway?" Merle spat heatedly.

Although she was a little taken back from his sudden change in emotions, Beth responded before she even had a chance to think about it. "This isn't hell," she blurted out softly. While there was fear, sickness, and anger here, there was still love, joy, and family to be found. This existence wasn't perfect but it wasn't hell; that much Beth knew.

Merle snorted loudly and glared up at her. "What the hell do you call a world dying with goddamn corpses walking around tryin' to eat ya, sweet cheeks?"

"I know it's not heaven— "

"Got that shit right," Merle mumbled under his breath.

"—but I know this existence isn't hell either," she continued bravely under the scowl of the muscular man before her.

The confidence in her words caused the weary man to drop his anger and look at her, really look at her. Beth held his hard stare. He was tired, shaken, and angry; all of that showed in his pale blue eyes. But she saw something more too. Beth saw a kindred spirit in the lost soul of Daryl's brother. He was dead. She was dead.

Merle rumbled deep in his chest, deep and low. "Then what the hell is happening?"

She cocked her head to the side, regarding him carefully as she slid the tray through the opening onto his table. Beth wasn't exactly sure what he was asking her but her first thought was to explain what the group had learned. "It's like a virus. We are all infect—

"No, that ain't what I'm talkin' about and you know it," he bit out harshly, pinning her with his narrowed blue eyes. "What is _happening_ to us, blondie? What in perdition is all this about?" His tone was gritty and quiet but Beth could hear the plea behind it in his last question. He was truly asking her. He was desperate to understand a question he couldn't fathom.

Beth placed a hand on the caging as she looked straight back into the man's cold eyes. Deep down, she knew Merle wasn't just asking about the here and now; he was asking so much more than just that. The forlorn look in his eyes held so many questions. The same ones Beth was sure were mirrored in her own. Perhaps that was why Merle was looking to her for some kind of meaning for what was happening. Could it be he was stuck in the same kind of _situation_ as she was? Was he stuck in a vortex of repeating memories and mistakes just as she was? Beth knew she still had more questions than answers.

However, if they were both here, there had to be a reason. None of this had happened the first time around. Merle had never responded as she had dropped off the food. There had been no communication between these two lost souls the first time. She was here for a reason, just as Merle was right now. Beth knew from previous experiences, she might not be able to save Merle, but she could at least help him as best she knew how.

Beth drew in a slow, deep breath in through her nostrils. "It's a second chance, Merle," she told him. It was the truth as she knew it.

"What?" huffed Merle, his features screwed.

"We have our family, our friends, our people here with us again. We have a fighting chance. It might be our last, it might be our second or first or fourth. The number doesn't matter. It's a chance. Don't waste it."

Merle's lips curled into a snarl in obvious frustration. He didn't understand; Beth could see that. With a quickness that rivaled Daryl's own, Merle rushed the barrier between them, his fingers curling tight into the bars. Beth startled and took a step back, trying to keep the wavering from her hands.

"Ya don't think I've fuckin' tried? Ya don't think I wouldn't do anythin' for my brother?" he yelled at her.

Beth straightened her spine, her chin up and out as she looked the devil in the eye. "I know you've tried but— "

"Fuck right. He's blood. I've tried to not… I've tried to fix it… but I can't. It's always the same. Just the same damn shit between us. The same messed up ending." Merle's voice dropped off with the last admission. The anger dissipated from him visibly as his white knuckled fists released the bars.

"Second chances, Merle, never waste them. Feel them. Try them. We all fail but we gotta get back up. We gotta keep going, it's what makes us who we are, that ability to keep going," Beth pushed, knowing if part of her world view rubbed off on one brother, it might work for the other. "We give all that we are for those we love and sometimes we get that chance to make it right with them. Don't waste this."

The two stood silently for a moment, neither moving nor even blinking. Just the two travelers feeling the weight of their situation finally said out loud in words. It was Merle who broke first, his eyes falling to the floor. He snagged the tray of food from the table without a word of gratitude and went back to the bunk.

Knowing it was time for her to leave, Beth said, "I'll be back later to pick the tray up. Daryl should be back soon, I'll send him up." She started to walk away.

He snorted from behind her. "I finally see it."

Beth stopped and looked back at him from over her shoulder, her blonde ponytail swaying from her quick motion. "What?"

Merle smirked but didn't answer her right away. There was a knowing glint that sparkled in his eyes, the first sign of life that had returned. "Never saw it 'fore but I see it now. I understand what baby brother sees in you now. I get it."

She let the faintest smile brief her tight pink lips. _Daryl_. "Enjoy, Merle."

"I'll try, princess. I'll try."

 **A/N: One more note - my little story has grown beyond the 6 chapters so expect a little more before we get to the end. The muse said there was more to tell.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I own nothing of TWD - I just love to play with all the characters. Here's the next chapter - it's back to the dark side and angst for this one but I still hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think...**

Beth breathed seamlessly as she moved from the dark hallways of the prison to the dusky kitchen setting before her. She was gone and she was back again. The electrifying frisson of the switch had worn off; it was part of her being now. It was still unsettling at her center, a certain unnaturalness seated at her middle, but it was something Beth was fast becoming accustomed to.

There was candle light at the table with a buffet of food set before them. Daryl was seated next to her with a spoon working hard at scooping up the jelly in the jar. Her ankle was a distant throb under the table as her sly blue eyes drank in the hunter next to her. _Daryl_. Beth was certain she hadn't missed him this much when she had started this journey. But she was certain she had cared before this had started. Somewhere, somehow in the muddy middle she realized it was Daryl. He was the answer to the question she hadn't even thought to ask herself yet. Beth hadn't the time or space to even try to understand it before. Now, in the repeating past, she had that opportunity. Beth had a second chance.

Beth could feel the optimism flood her with the bounty before them, Daryl next to her, and a roof over their heads. "I'm gonna leave a thank you note," she said, not even realizing the words had left her lips as her fingers worked the paper and pen before her.

Daryl looked over to her and then back at the jar in his hand, his spoon clanking against the side. "Why?" he quietly questioned as he spooned another mouthful of jelly in.

"For when they come back," Beth told him simply even though there was a bitterness that reached the tip of her tongue as soon as the words left her parted pink lips. There was no one to thank, there never was. Should that stop her from believing and hoping, stop her from being herself? She and Daryl were thankful for the food and shelter at the very least. Beth believed still could be good in the world despite knowing the evil that was lurking outside. No, Beth was not going to let this change her thinking. She wasn't going to let them get her that way as the group at Grady had changed her in the end. This, here and now, was still hers and it was going to stay hers.

"If they come back," Beth offered in a slightly softer voice, knowing the darkness that was awaiting them and trying to keep the dread from creeping into her. "Even if they aren't comin' back, I still wanna say thanks." She put the pen to the paper, writing in her familiar loping scroll.

There was thoughtful contemplation from the hunger next to her while she wrote. Beth knew what he was thinking, fighting opposing ideals within himself. Daryl was on the precipice of changing, he was on the edge of hoping.

"Maybe ya don't have to leave that," he said, his voice deep and easy.

Beth turned to look at him, her gaze meeting his for a fleeting moment. He had never been good at prolonged eye contact. Daryl dropped his eyes to the jar before him.

"Maybe we stick around here for a while," Daryl suggested, another scoop of jelly entering his mouth. "They come back, we'll just make it work," he said as he nodded as if to convince himself. Daryl was actually hoping. "Maybe… may be nuts, but it may be alright."

Beth smiled at him, slow and genuine. "So you do still think there are good people around."

Daryl gave a half-hearted one-shoulder shrug as he ate more jelly.

Her smile grew. "What changed your mind?" she asked despite knowing the answer. _Oh_ , she knew the answer.

Daryl would not look at her at first, all his nervous attention focused on the half-empty jar in his hand. He glanced up at her quickly, then down at the jar, and then back up at her. When his eyes made contact with her own blue eyes, there was a hint of a smile gracing his lips. "Ya know," Daryl offered quietly. Another mouthful entered his awaiting mouth.

"What?" Beth asked, hoping she could get more out of him this time. Perhaps she would be graced with some actual words.

He looked back up at her, a new timid seriousness on his face. Daryl made a dismissive thrum that gave no answer as he shifted his shoulders.

"Don't _hmmnn_ ," Beth mocked easily. "What changed your mind?"

Daryl trained his gaze on her, his eyes not faltering as was his usual. He held her with deep blue eyes, soulful and open. She was prepared this time for his loaded non-answer. Beth remembered the feeling that fluttered in her chest, the sudden thudding of her heart as the realization behind his shy eyes that were connect with hers. The last time —how strange that still felt to think —the last time Beth hadn't been prepared. It had shocked her, her mind and her face blanked. "Oh," had been her answer.

Instead, this time Beth was prepared, she was ready for this.

Her eyes didn't leave his as she reached a hand toward him, resting lightly on his arm. Beth smiled at him, soft and warm. Words weren't right for the moment. If fate was only going to allow her this small moment, as was the usual… just fleeting glimpses, Beth wanted to touch him. She wanted to feel him, know he was real, and let him know everything she wanted him to know. She hope her touched conveyed as much emotion as she showed in her eyes.

Barking in the distance broke the moment and was followed by some clanking from their perimeter alarm. Both turned toward the sounds, their eyes going toward the door. Beth instantly wished she hadn't. She wanted to hold on to this, to Daryl, for just a moment longer.

Her voice caught in her throat, no sound leaving as she watched Daryl shovel another bit of jelly into his mouth before he leaned toward the food. With a small groan, he placed the jar on the table with a little clank of the metal spoon against the glass and reached for a jar of pig's feet. She didn't want him to leave; she didn't want him to open the door.

"I'm gonna give that mutt one more chance," he said, rising from his chair.

"Daryl," Beth breathed, the air catching in her lungs and not allowing her to say more despite the urgent need to shout at him, to stop him from moving further from her. _Please, please don't let him go to the door_ , Beth pleaded. With whom, she was no longer sure… fate or the Almighty. Either way, she knew what came next and she wasn't ready for this to end.

"C'mon, maybe'll like you better," he responded, not looking back at her as he left the kitchen.

If Daryl had, he would have seen the despair in her face. The pure misery etched in the worried creases around her pained eyes and scrunching mouth. He would have known something was wrong, he would have stayed. Everything would have changed, in a second… a single moment, everything would have been different.

But Daryl didn't; instead his hand went to the door knob. Beth could feel an actual jolt of pain string through her body as she heard the door open, knowing there was a horde of hungry corpses on the other side. Daryl saw the same but it was too late; the dead surged forward with a need for the living flesh before it.

He shoved back against the door and called her name out. He shouted it again, louder above the snarling menace on the other side of the door, struggling to keep it closed.

Beth hobbled the best she could, trying to keep the fear at bay. She grabbed his crossbow, knowing he was going to need it. He motioned to her and Beth threw him his trusted weapon.

"Run," he shouted at her. "Run!"

She did as she was told, knowing her limping stride would be a hindrance. Beth knew he wouldn't be able to hold the door long against the massive number of walkers pressed against it. She didn't want to be the cause of his death by changing anything now.

There was no containing the dead a moment longer, the walkers pressed hard against the door, forcing Daryl forward. He twisted and fired a bolt before running after her.

"Beth, climb out the window. Get your shit," Daryl shouted as he led the walkers down a different hallway than hers.

She was running, her breath coming in rushes. _No, no, no! Please don't let this happen again_ , she pleaded internally. _I can't leave him. I can't._ Beth snatched her pack in her hand.

"I'm not goin' to leave you," she shouted back, hobbling into another room.

She could barely hear his next orders above the hissing and growling of the hungry dead. "Go out, go up the road. I'll meet ya there!" Daryl ordered sharply.

Beth knew she wouldn't be any help in a close quarter battle; Daryl had taught her that much. She had neither the strength nor the agility due to her ankle at the moment. She gave him one last look; it pained her to have to leave.

"Go," he yelled at her a final time as he ran further from her, his voice barely echoing off the walls of the funeral home over the hungry mob.

She went even as she knew Daryl wouldn't. She knew she wouldn't. There would be no meeting at the road. Beth knew that was supposed to be the last time she'd see Daryl until the end… her end.

So after Beth climbed over the window's threshold and dropped to the grass below, she did not scramble for the pavement. Instead, she made her way around to an area by the back door. Beth stood firmly, holding her ground and knowing that Daryl would come. He was strong and would survive the dangers inside. Beth knew they were out there waiting for her in the dark, Gorman and the other officer. She wasn't going to be taken again. She refused to be a victim again.

When the first walker came around the corner, Beth dealt with it. She hit it hard, knocking it to the ground with a large stick and then repeatedly bashing its head in. Then another came and Beth struggled to put it down, crying out in pain as her ankle twisted further. She felt a walker grab at her back. Beth spun to pull it off her but there was another, a graying heap of flesh with snarled teeth bearing down on her. She tried with all her might to shove the first corpse off her as the new one lunged at her. The sudden whirl of action rushed at her and Beth fell backwards, over the dead corpse already at her feet. The two walkers fell on top of her, snapping hungrily above her.

An instant rush of adrenaline surged within her, but Beth knew it wasn't enough. She hadn't the strength. She knew it. Gorman knew it. Dawn knew it. Beth pushed, shoving as hard as she could at the dead weight on top of her, but still she knew it wasn't enough. She kicked, struggled, and fought with every fiber of her being as the yellowed teeth snapped at her face only an inch away.

Two more walkers came into her view, falling to their knees next to her and Beth _knew_ it. She knew what was going to happen. The female walker with stringy red hair grabbed hold of her straining arm and bit deep into her forearm. The smaller Asian walker lunged at her face, teeth tearing into her flesh at her cheek.

Beth shrieked at the intense pain of teeth ripping pieces of herself away, little bits of that would never be hers again. Her arms faltered as the other two walkers slammed full on into her. She didn't want to die. Not again, not ever again. Beth screamed again, louder and longer this time, as more mouths tore into her. Dying was never fun but this was much worse, so much worse than before.

She screamed and screamed, even as Beth heard Daryl shout her name in the distant background.

And then she was dead again.

She was gone.

She was nothing.

Her eyes fluttered open. The sterility of the white room hit her hard, a deep pain exploding in her chest and masking the pain in her face and wrist. It was making it hard for Beth to breath. It was a struggle for her as she grasped her surroundings; the suffocating air all around her as she slowly sat up in the hospital bed.

Beth ripped the IV from her arm and tossed it aside, tears welling in her eyes. _No, not again_. She didn't want to be here again, anywhere but Grady Memorial Hospital.

It took several gulping breaths and a few stabilizing moments to calm herself. Beth reached her hand up, the one not enclosed in a hardened cast, to touch the stitches on her cheek. She frowned as she felted the raised wound, knowing it would scar and knowing she would receive more than just that if she stayed. But Beth knew this was fate, it had to be now. She couldn't change this or anything… but she knew there was a reason. Fate always had a plan. Beth could accept that. She was a part of something, some design even if she didn't always understand. Still… she didn't know if she wanted a second chance _here._

Beth desperately wanted to live and being here was bringing her further away from that goal. She had a reason to live. She had a person to see. Beth couldn't let him go, not yet.

Swinging her legs out of the hospital bed, Beth felt a rush of blood flow to her feet that was met with a stinging cold of the floor beneath her skin. The clock was ticking in the background, an oppressive clicking sound. This felt more tangible than any of her other _travels_ had been. It seemed like time was speeding up. Everything, the sights and sounds around her, were more real. Beth let that thought settle in her, trying to keep the panic at bay with slow, deep breaths.

She knew this, whatever it was, was coming to an end. It wouldn't be much longer before her time was up. It was a feeling that tingled and reverberated up her spine, a cold and chilling wave that travelled to every point of her. Beth didn't want the blackness. She didn't want the emptiness of death, the waves of confusion and fear, or the bitter ugliness of when it first happened to override her again. Would she just cease to exist this time when the bullet whizzed through her brain? Beth knew there wasn't _nothing_ on the other side. This whole experience was proof enough there wasn't nothing. There was something. Maybe not as simple as the heaven and hell she had been told as a child. But there was _something_ , there had to be something.

Just that thought, that understanding, was enough to calm her center. Beth padded slowly over to the window, gazing at the empty hull of a once great city. He was out there. He was coming for her.

Beth knew she needed to prepare.

She wasn't going to be dead. She wouldn't be gone. She refused to fade to nothing… not this time.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : Here we go! This is the big chapter - the one many people have been waiting for. What will Beth's fate be? Read and let me know what you think!**

Beth opened her blue eyes slowly to the scene before her. This was it. She was suddenly back at the beginning… or was it the ending?

Carol was in the wheel chair before, she felt Carol reach her hand back and cover her own. Beth's hands tightened on the wheel chair handles as she watched her family walk through the doors at the end of the hallway. The officers were in front of her, but they parted enough for her to see. Her family stopped a few yards away. Beth felt a familiar happy tightness squeezing at her chest.

Beth pushed the wheel chair forward, stopping at the edge of the officers, as she looked her family over. There was talking back and forth, words she had heard before. A discussion that was barely even registering with her now because all of her energy was focused on the archer to the right of the hallway. He was poised and ready under the dirt and tension. She can see Noah there too; she was glad he was safe with her family. The brother and sister duo of Sasha and Tyreese were among the group. Rick was at the front, his wild blue eyes wide and intense. And then she saw Merle.

 _Merle?_

He was dead. She was dead. But now he wasn't? Merle was here. Merle was there, standing firmly next to his brother and breathing steadily. It was different than before, something was changed. This large man stood before her, covered in sweat and blood and dirt. His hand was still missing but the other pointedly held his gun steady at his side. There was a gash to his face that was healing, scabbed and nasty, but he was alive. Merle was _alive_.

Beth knew that… didn't she? Hadn't she always known he was alive… dead? A strangeness at her center hit her when she first saw him, one that told her she knew he had died months before. Merle was alive but he shouldn't be. Daryl had cried at the selfless sacrifice of his brother, Beth had seen the red rimmed eyes and wet streaks on the hunter's face upon his lone return. But in the same instance, Beth remembered Daryl yelling for help as he ushered his injured brother inside the prison with a gunshot to his side, blood pouring out heavily. Beth recalled the late night vigil Daryl had kept quietly at his brother's side, tireless and solemn. She could also remember how she had assisted her father in re-stitching Merle when he ripped his dressing while helping them to defend against the second attack, the one they had repelled. Another memory was evoked, one of Merle leaving with the stone-faced Michonne… not Daryl… to hunt the Governor for those many weeks. Beth recollected Glenn laughing at a dirty joke of Merle's as they worked on reinforcing the fence. It had been the first time the two men had stood together in the room without snarling at one another. The olive branch had been passed between them.

Redemption, love and, forgiveness; the flood of memories came to her in a flash and Beth knew Merle had succeeded just as she would… could… should. Her heart thudded hard, a spasm that clenched in her chest and made it hard to breathe. This was it.

Merle saw her reaction, noticing the quickening of her breathing and the knowledge in her eyes. He could see that she saw the change and she knew it. Merle nodded ever so slightly. If he could do this, then she could do this… couldn't she? Beth swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded back to him. Her family had come for her. _Daryl_ had come for her. She could do this; she had to.

Carol was the first to be exchanged. One of the officers took control of the wheelchair from Beth and pushed Carol to the center. Daryl came forward with his prisoner, his eyes flicking briefly to Beth's before he focused entirely on the exchange before him. Merle edged forward, taking a few cautious steps after his brother. A tense Rick stopped Merle from going farther with a staying hand.

Dawn grabbed Beth, her fingers digging into the flesh of her arm with a biting pain. Rick marched forward with his prisoner as Daryl pushed the injured Carol back to the safety of Sasha and Tyreese. Dawn pulled Beth with her once the first switch was completed. Beth could hardly breathe as she passed the returning officer, one of her captors she was being exchanged for; she knew where this was all heading.

Rick touched her affectionately; she could feel the love from him. Beth almost wished it would end there. She had never hoped for a jump or switch or whatever it was that shoved her from memory to memory. But right there, in that moment, she knew that was as good as it was going to get. Her family was safe. She was safe. She just wanted to hold on to that moment, to hug it close and never let it go. But Beth knew there was more… there was always more.

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as she heard Dawn's voice from behind her break the silence. "Glad we could work things out."

Rick turned around, nodding slightly. "Yeah," he returned in a deep, gravelly voice.

Her entire family was turning to leave. They just needed to leave, to get as far away from Grady Memorial Hospital as they could. Beth said a silent prayer to herself, pleading with the universe to let Dawn just let them leave. _Please_. Daryl's hand was on her, touching her ever so slightly, but he wouldn't look at her just yet. It wasn't safe to look at her; there was still danger behind her. Daryl knew, he always knew.

Beth knew it too. She had lived with the psychotic woman long enough to know. Here and now, Beth was about to have a decision to make. Last time, she had acted rashly. Even now, she felt the cool stainless steel of the scissors against her flesh in her sleeve. Her fingers twitched with the knowledge of how to use it against the crazed woman behind her.

Her heart was pounding, echoing in her ears. Would it be Noah or herself? Could Beth just let him go, let him stay with those cruel, damaged people? Would she be able to live with herself if she did? There were so many guns in that narrow hallway, so much violence waiting to erupt. What could she do to stop Dawn that wasn't going to get the rest of her family killed? Beth could feel the tears stinging her eyes with the knowledge that not everyone was going to make it out of this hallway alive. She _knew_ it. The same as she had known everything else on this journey. A death was a certainty.

"Now I just need Noah," Dawn declared and Beth knew it was time.

There would be no escaping without being forced into a decision. It was one she alone had to make. Was it going to be her or Noah? Who deserved to be saved more? Could one even define that? Was she even capable of such a decision? Beth was flooded with these overwhelming thoughts as everyone stopped moving.

"And then you can leave," Dawn stated boldly.

Rick turned back to look at Dawn. Why didn't Dawn understand? You just don't _mess_ with Rick. Their leader started walking back towards Dawn, Noah trailing after him. There was a wild glint in Rick's eyes, a dangerous one.

"That wasn't part of the deal," Rick growled.

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I'm losing her so I need him back."

"Ma'am, please," said one of the officers, pleading.

"Shut up," Dawn snapped. "My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died," she stated coldly.

Noah started to come forward but Daryl shoved him back. "He ain't stayin'," Daryl snarled.

"He's one of mine. You have no claim on him." Dawn sounded so automated, almost robot-like. It was eerie how much chaos was under her neat and tidy facade.

"The boy wants to go home so you have no claim on him," Rick responded darkly.

They stared at each other, these two leaders. Deadly eyes locked in battle with one another. Everyone could feel the suffocating tension radiating off of them.

"Well then, we don't have a deal," Dawn stated matter-of-factly.

"The deal is done," Rick responded, his body shifting dangerously.

Noah came forward again, limping. "It's– It's okay."

"No," Rick declared, a blocking hand reaching back to try to stop Noah. "No."

Noah came up next to Rick steadily despite the weakness in his leg. "I gotta do it." Noah reached behind himself and pulled out his gun. He handed it to Rick, their eyes locked.

Beth knew it was her move. There was no more time left to decide. She hadn't made her decision, not really. Beth really wanted to live but a life of regret wasn't one she could live with. Could she really let Noah take her place?

She tried not to tremble as she affirmed, "It's not okay."

Rick took the gun and looked over angrily at Dawn.

"Then it's settled," Dawn said with an air of authority.

A change came over Noah. Beth watched as the life drained from his face as he turned to his fate. Beth felt her stomach tighten.

"Wait," she called to him and started after Noah. Beth embraced him, locking her arms around his neck, and held him tightly. Noah had been a true friend, and he didn't deserve this. She knew it. Noah held her back, his arms squeezing her back just as tightly as if he was desperate for that one last bit of human contact. Neither wanted to let the moment go.

"It's okay," Noah asserted softly. Beth could almost hear a little smile in his voice. Maybe… maybe it was okay.

Then Dawn had to speak. She just couldn't keep her big mouth shut. "I knew you'd be back."

Beth opened her big blue eyes to glare at the monster before her and she _knew_. Not everyone was going to make it out of this hallway alive. She knew it. Beth let go of Noah, her arms dropping off of him but her steady gaze never leaving Dawn's. Beth breathed out slowly and shallowly as she stepped toward the woman who had badgered and beat her, the woman who had tried to steal the goodness that was buried in her heart.

She stopped inches from Dawn. "I get it now," Beth said, her voice high, tense, and almost wavering. She could barely control the boiling anger. Her fingers twitched and tightened on the scissors in her grasp, barely able to stay her hand. "This is who you are. I get it now… I understand you aren't strong as you are pretending to be."

Dawn narrowed her eyes at her, hate glaring in them. "What are–"

Beth interrupted, her voice growing louder as she shoved her face forward into Dawn's. "This is _who_ you _are_ and this place is _what_ it is. Remember that. The beatings, the rapes and murder… that's what you are and that's what this place is."

There was a rustling behind her, and Beth saw the shifting of bodies behind Dawn. Even Noah had stopped in mid-step at her harsh words. Beth realized no one before had ever acknowledged the crimes out loud and now she had dared to state each crime loudly and truthfully. It was out there in the world now, like all the other evils.

"Everyone… they all follow you because you– you just let it all happen. You let 'em do the _unspeakable_. That is who you are. You aren't a leader, you aren't savin' anyone. Joan. Gorman. Jefferies. O'Donald. They are all on you."

"O'Donald?" questioned Sheppard sharply at the edge of the officer line. There were quiet murmurs behind her.

Dawn tensed visibly, her hand going to her hip, and snapped back, "Shut your mouth!" But it wasn't clear whether she was talking to Beth or Sheppard.

Beth tilted her head slightly to the right, her blue eyes blazing. "Do they know? How did you ever explain it to the other officers?"

Dawn snarled at her with gritted teeth but said nothing in return.

"They know you aren't a leader. They know you're a failure, that you're nothin', that you can't even protect the people who are supposed to be safe here at the hospital. You let 'em get raped, beaten and murdered. That's _who_ you are," Beth thrusted her face forward, her nose pressed against Dawn's.

There was a flash of movement as Dawn jerked at her pistol and the trigger was pulled.

BANG!

 _Beth knew she was being held, that she was in his strong arms again. She knew she belonged there, she always had. Beth could feel his heart beating in his chest, steady and strong. Always, he had always been her steady and strong. His arms were cradling her close against him._

 _She opened her eyes and was instantly confused. There was a woman before her, a young woman she had never seen before. Her hair was long and dark auburn and she had eyes that reminded her of her mother's, Annette. The young woman was smiling but there were tears streaming down her face. This young woman was sad but trying bravely to comfort Beth. She was about Maggie's age. Beth didn't know who she was or why she was crying but Beth knew she should be the one trying to comfort this young lady._

 _Beth reached her hand out but realized it wasn't her hand. It was older, wrinkled, and thin. The hand was small and frail but there was a scar above her knuckle of her pointer finger. The one she got helping Shawn change a tire on the farm pick-up._

 _And then Beth knew. It was her hand. It was her Daryl who was holding her so closely. And this beautiful young woman was their daughter. And it was her time, this was Beth's death. Not the one in the hallway but the one, decades from now, in their home._

 _And then Beth was gone._

 _She was nothing._

BANG!

Beth felt the thud of a body dropping to the cold floor next to her. Her head was on fire, a wildfire ablaze behind her eyes scorching a path through her mind, wandering and long. She didn't feel like she could move, blood dripping in her face and over her eyes. The world around her was difficult to see.

"No! Hold your fire," cried out Sheppard, the woman officer, as all guns suddenly rose in the hallway. "It's over. It was just about her."

There was a tense, unending second as no one moved on either side. Quiet deadliness filled the thick air between the two opposing groups. One wrong move and it would all be over.

"Stand down," Sheppard ordered loudly, breaking the strained silence.

Guns were slowly lowered by the officers after a long drawn out second. Her family followed, weapons lowered.

Given the break in the tension, Beth moaned and rolled to her back, bringing a shaking hand to her head. She pulled back her fingers and saw bright red of her own life on the tips. She was bleeding but she was alive. She was in pain, agony still bursting behind her eyes, but she was _alive_.

"Beth?" asked Rick in a hoarse voice above her, his eyes not leaving the dangerous group before him.

Daryl was on his knees next to her suddenly, his fingers going straight to wound.

"Brother, she was fuckin' shot in the head," stated Merle in almost a growl, his hulking shadow was hovering above her. "She's probably turnin'."

Daryl's hands left her wound and took hold of her face, framing it. His deep blue eyes locked with hers, giving her something to focus on. There was still pain but it was mere echo of what it had been just a second before. The blinding light around them dissipated, leaving only his vision in front of her. Daryl was here. She was with him. Nothing else existed for the breadth of several seconds.

"Nah, the bitch just grazed her. There's lots of blood but it ain't deep. It'll scar but she'll make it," Daryl said loudly to the others, then added more softly, "She ain't just another dead girl. She's Beth."

Beth knew that was meant for her and her alone. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought, or maybe it was the blood loss. She wasn't sure. It was still hard to focus but she knew she was going to be okay. She _knew_ it.

Beth was safe and with her family.

She had made it, a freer feeling was never felt before in her heart.

She was alive.

 **A/N: As promised, I thought there should be a little more to this story. Are you missing the Bethyl Fluff? Well, stay tuned. There's a bit in the next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Oh, I'm so thrilled everyone loved that last chapter. It was building and I hope everyone was pleased with the outcome. I have this one last chapter to give to this story - at least it was longer than the 6 chapters I promised. Even though there is more to this story line, I think (along with the advice from my wonderful BETA - ElsaEditorial) this is a perfect place to end this particular story. I think there will be a sequel (or at least I hope) but I'm not sure when I'll get around to it since I'm going to get on with my HOME sequel - OFFICIAL. So keep your eyes out for that story!**

 **Enjoy!**

There had been so much chaos after the death of the dictator, Dawn. Rick demanded the release of Noah and anyone else who wanted to leave that hellish place. In the end of a tense conversation, only Noah had been bold enough to brave the dangerous walker-filled world outside the hospital doors.

From the tiled floor, Beth could see the bullet that was lodged in the ceiling of that fateful hallway. The one that had struck her unwitting body but had not killed her. It had grazed her temple, gashing her skin but doing not much more damage than that. She was alive… Beth was alive, the idea still making her mind swirl. The path the bullet took through her skin still seared painfully and she still couldn't fully hear out of her left ear but none of that mattered. It was a feeling, her first new feeling in what could have been forever or a merely a second. The whole concept, the mysterious journey she had partaken on, still threw her for a loop but then again… none of it mattered. She was _alive_.

The situation calmed around them, allowing her family to flee the unnatural hospital. Daryl hoisted Beth up gently, the world reeling around her in hues of grey but steadied once he took a strong hold of her. Rick was at her other side, his wary eyes watching the immoral crew behind them as they made their exit. Daryl's hand never left the small of her back as he ushered her down the flight of stairs.

Merle carried the injured Carol in front of them, her head resting on the large man's shoulder. Carol peeked over Merle's shoulder, giving Beth a small but peaceful smile. It was as if she knew a secret that no one else did. It was a fleeting, almost impish smile that turned into a wince under the bouncing, lumbering steps of Merle as he trounced down the steps. It made Beth wonder what Carol knew, a fleeting thought that she didn't have time to consider before they reached the bottom floor. Their escape was almost complete.

As they reached the hospital's exit, Daryl placed a rag to Beth's head to help slow the bleeding from her wound. It was barely a trickle now but still enough to be problematic. She knew she was leaving a hospital and a capable doctor behind her, but there was no way in hell she was ever letting Dr. Edwards or anyone else from Grady ever touch her again. Beth was a little light-headed but she still knew what was coming next as the doors were thrown open and she was drowned in sunlight.

Her sister was waiting on the other side of those doors; Maggie was out in the world before her. She hesitated a moment as the other members of their group exited first. Beth couldn't exactly explain how she knew Maggie would be standing in the courtyard on the other side of those doors, but she _knew_ it. Maggie was there, her own flesh and blood who had abandoned her. Beth had been mad at first, furious really, then the whole idea started to depress her… that she had meant so little to her beloved older sister. Then, almost as with the stages of grief, came the acceptance of the idea. Beth had finally understood. She really did. Beth wasn't her brazen sister; she wasn't the skilled or adventurous one. Beth was the sweet, gentle one. She was the quiet sister, the calming babysitter or the smiling little sister but not the strong survivor type. Beth understood Maggie. Glenn had been the priority, followed by saving the world. Hell, Beth would bet on Glenn rather than herself on any given day too. Hadn't she just died in that hallway before?

So when Maggie came forward, crying her name and running at her with open arms, there was nothing but acceptance and forgiveness in Beth. There was so little time in this walker-ravaged world they lived in now. There was no time for anger or grudges, just love. And it engulfed Beth, her sister's arms wrapping so tightly around her she was jolted back a step. Daryl took a step to the side, his touch leaving a noticeable absence within her.

More love surrounded her as others came forward. Michonne and the bubbly Judith were there, sending her heart soaring at the sight of her former little ward. Carl and Glenn were there too, quick but warm hugs were given. Merle finally brought Carol to Beth so she could tend to Beth's head. All her family was there; so much love, friends and family overwhelmed her, tears of joy stinging her eyes.

As her group surrounded Beth, all the hugging arms, touching hands and smiling faces, she was filled with the smell of her family. As awful as they all smelled, it was absolutely divine. After the antiseptic aroma, the cleanliness and gloominess of it, the familiar and very real scent was one to behold. They all smelled of dirt, blood, sweat, and death but it was all glorious to Beth. It was a reminder of life, hers, theirs, and the world.

Beth knew it wasn't meant to last, her basking in the love and family. The walkers came within moments of them exiting the hospital. At first, a few came from the edges; the staggering menaces were dealt with quickly by Rick and a Hispanic woman. Barely a few minutes had passed before the walkers started to come in waves, more than the group could handle. They had to get out of the open space and away from the urban area.

They all piled into the vehicles, barely making their escape from the fallen city of Atlanta before being boxed in by the ferocious dead. Beth was squished in between a large man with a mullet, his face bruised and messed up, and Maggie, her sister still fawning and weeping over her in the back seat. Glenn drove, skillfully missing the masses of decaying flesh lunging at them. Next to him was a young woman with short brunette hair, her shoulder shoved up next to Noah. All were sandwiched in tightly as they fled the area. There had been a few other new people too; she had noticed the new faces as they had all ran for their lives. Beth was wary but her family seemed to trust them, for now she would too.

It was then, as the world was rushing past her in the windows, Beth realized she hadn't said anything to Daryl. Not one word. Beth realized she had time… she _hoped_ she had time from what she witnessed after the gunshot. If she got a chance, not a second or a third chance, but the first chance, Beth knew she had to tell him. She needed to find him and tell him what she was feeling inside. She had to; there was never a greater seeded need within her.

It was almost evening before their group found a place to make camp for the night, their cars running low on fuel. The sun was close to setting before everything and everyone was settled. There was little food or water, no real shelter from the cold night and no medical supplies for her or Carol. Just tired, sweaty, and strung out people huddling in a grove just off the road. Beth heard about the lies of a cure and some heated discussions of what direction the group should take. The tension was high and to Beth, it was wonderful. For the first time, it was all new to Beth, the air, the sounds, the sights, and the feelings. All the good and the bad of it, all of it was wonderful.

Beth was helping to finish the dinner clean up with a young woman named Tara and Maggie; her sister was her new constant companion. This guilty Maggie had a hard time leaving her side despite Beth telling her there was nothing to forgive. Beth loved her sister and would never let her know she had felt otherwise at Maggie's slighting of her.

She looked up to see Glenn, Rick, and the red-headed man whose name she couldn't recall were talking with Daryl. There was some heat there, some snippets of frustration and anger but the issues seemed to be resolving. In the middle of it, as if he could tell she was watching him, Daryl's eyes flashed her way. They connected, blue on blue. It vibrated her to her core as she felt that need to connect with her archer again.

Beth rose, leaving the containers she had been organizing on the ground. She was only able to take a few steps towards Daryl before Merle entered her peripheral. The large man had inched easily into her view until she slowed, feeling a magnetic pull to stop and turn towards him.

She smiled shyly up at the man, his grizzled stone face turned down to her. Beth felt an uneasiness bubble in her stomach under his ice blue stare. It wasn't as if she didn't know the man, right? Beth knew Merle. She had lived with him for months before the fall of the prison. She had taken meals with him and worked alongside him, at least that was what her memories were telling her. A flood of newness still surrounded them all. Beth could feel she was already losing it… all her old memories, the old timeline, her old self. It was flitting away, like glitter in the wind. Beth knew it had happened; she was striving to at least remember she had partaken on the timeless journey she had endeavored. As she looked up at the scruffy Merle, she was certain there was one memory she would never forget, that last jump she had experienced. Beth would never forget the love that had encompassed her in the arms of Daryl and the tenderness in their beautiful daughter's blue eyes. It allowed her the knowledge that she would have time, she knew there was a future for her.

"Hey," Beth said softly to Merle. She realized she was far enough away from the group to openly talk to him but close enough not to alert Maggie's radar.

Merle nudged his chin up in acknowledgement. His old eyes crinkled and lingered on her for a moment before switching his gaze out to the woods surrounding them. Like his brother, he was always the wary hunter.

"We made it," she stated simply, trusting in the bond between them. Beth knew so Merle had to know also. There was no forgetting the experience. Ever.

Merle swallowed thickly, his throat catching on a lump. "Yeah, we did it, girlie."

She was straining to touch him, to touch another being who had been on the same mystic travels as she was. Her hand went to his forearm. Beth needed to connect with him with more than just words.

He looked down at her hand touching his skin and looked back up at her, his ice blue eyes warming at little and looking a little lost in the same moment. "I made– when you…" Merle paused, the pain and distress looking unnatural on the hulking beast of a man. "Those words ya said to me…"

"Second chances," Beth whispered, her lips twitching upward.

"Yeah," Merle nodded. "Them words. Got me thinkin'. Got my head on straight. I figured shit out." He looked steadily at her, taking a deep breath.

It was then Beth realized it was his form of gratitude. Merle Dixon was thanking her. Her smile grew by a mile, turning into a happy grin. "I'm glad. I– I saw you and I knew I could do it too."

"Always knew ya could," Merle affirmed. Then his eyes went dark, his jawline twitching. "When I made it… I saw…" he started but shut his mouth shut with a sharp click of his teeth.

"Merle?" she questioned, her brows knitted before a realization hit her. She suddenly knew what he had started to utter. "I saw… I saw something too. I– "

He raised a hand to stop her, shaking his head. "No. Keep it to ya'self. I– I think it's supposed to be that way."

Beth nodded giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. She understood. She wasn't exactly sure she would be able to explain what she saw in the moment she had between death and life.

Merle released a long breath, relieved. There was a quiet moment between them before a smirk grew on the older man's face. He nodded out to his brother subtly. "Don't be getting too cozy here, girlie. Little brother, he's gonna get jealous."

Daryl was staring at them, his dark eyes focused on where Beth's hand was touching Merle's arm. It lasted only a moment before Daryl noticed he had been caught. He shied his eyes away instantly, hiking his crossbow higher up on his shoulder as he turned to walk away.

It looked as if the conversation between the men was done; Glenn was almost back at Maggie's side, Rick took a seat next to Carl, and the broad-shouldered red-head grumbled his way to the other end of the camp. Daryl walked to the opposite edge of camp, taking position by a large pine tree. Beth could tell instantly he was going on watch, always the protector of the group.

Merle made a dry, throat-clearing cough that dragged Beth's attention back to him. He wagged his eyebrows at her, giving a little motion of his head toward his younger brother. Beth smiled up at him, reaching up on her tiptoes to place a gentle kiss against his stubbled chin. The grizzled man accepted the affection grudgingly, shifting his feet uncomfortably in the dirt.

Beth walked slowly but surely toward her second chance. The sun was setting, casting an orange-pink hue over Daryl. It highlighted his chiseled and weary features; the man looked as if he hadn't rested in weeks, utterly exhausted.

She knew she was about to upturn his world, tilt it on end. Beth hoped he was ready for it as much as she was. Her heart rate increased as she closed the distance, excited by the change as much as she was still a little nervous. She was still worried about what her first words should be to him; Beth wasn't exactly sure what to say yet. Beth would have thought she would know by now… she'd had time, endless time for her to decide.

As Beth reached Daryl, he looked at her slowly, dragging his gaze from the surrounding area. She gave him a small, coy smile as her blue eyes searched his. It was suddenly obvious he wasn't going to be the first to say anything. This was all up to her.

Beth slid her hand into his. Daryl looked down at where they were touching; connected in the simplest of forms, then back up at her with a question in his eyes. She smiled at his perplexity. He had to know. She knew… so he had to know too.

"Did you?" Beth asked sweetly, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand in a slow, circulator motion. Her eyes never left his.

His tongue flicked out, wetting his upper lip nervously. "Did– Did I what?" he asked, so unsure of himself. Strangely, so was she. That was why this was all so perfect, there was uncertainty in her world again.

Her heart rate doubled in her chest; here went everything. "Did you miss me while I was gone?" Beth asked, a little more breathlessly than she had meant to.

Daryl just looked at her, his eyes soft and wet. No answer came except the raw emotion in his eyes.

"I did," Beth admitted quietly. "I missed you so bad, Daryl."

His breath caught, almost hitching in his chest. Her words shocked him but his fingers still curled tighter around her slender hand. She hadn't scared him completely away.

It took a few seconds of them barely breathing with their blue eyes locked but he finally answered her. "I missed ya, Beth," his voice was hoarse and low.

Beth dared herself further by his admission. She raised herself up on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his chapped lips. It was a soft, chaste kiss. Beth wished she could have been alone with him, that they would have had this time alone to talk it through but it wasn't happening that way. Their world now was so volatile and tumultuous, like a storm-ravaged sea, making it difficult to get your footing on any given day. There was never a certainty out there for them, and there was no time to waste. Twenty years would go by in a blink of an eye.

As Beth broke the kiss, her lips barely leaving Daryl's, she heard Maggie gasp behind her from the camp. There were some blubbering mindless utterances from her that were quickly silenced by Glenn. Once again Beth was grateful he was her brother-in-law. Maggie was a handful under the best of circumstances so it was nice to have some assistance.

Once she was fully back on solid ground, Beth could see the wonder in his eyes. It was perfection to see something besides worry and hopelessness in the man's eyes again. It warmed her center to know she had won that. However, what happened next completely blindsided her. Beth hadn't expected as Daryl to lean forward, capturing her lips for another kiss. His warm lips pressed firmly against hers as he pulled on her hand, drawing her closer against him. It was unexpected, it was wondrous.

This was her second chance. And she was going to enjoy it.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm back! I know it's not the story everyone has been waiting on but this one has been calling my name. This story won't have an exact story line but more of a collection of tidbits from Beth's journey – a continuation of her second chance. There will definitely be more BETHYL than in the first chapters – it'll be the main focus from now on. Please let me know what you think. I really appreciate all the new reviews and support I've been getting recently.**

Chapter 8

Beth had never experience such heat rising up from her center. She had been kissed before. Heck, there had been times she thought she would never stop kissing Jimmy in the back of his car. There had been more than one breathless encounter with Zach in the hidden recesses of the prison. But this was different… this was heat, burning and molten from her center, spreading outward to the tips of her ear and to the ends of her toes. This was _hot_.

Beth made a small desperate sound, one that escaped the back of her throat when Daryl ended the kiss, pulling back slightly. She missed his lips already but both were in need of some air.

He had shifted back only inches, his face still hoovering closely to hers. In the low light, she could see him watching her, his startling blue eyes narrowed in deep thought. It was almost as if he was just as surprised that he'd kissed her back as he had been when she kissed him. Beth couldn't stop a slight smile from curving to her lips at his uncertainty. She'd be okay with that, she knew how this turned out, didn't she?

Daryl swallowed hard, a long and difficult motion clenching at his throat. He apparently was having a hard time swallowed what he had just done as he took a large step back, his eyes finally dropping from hers. A burning red crept across his cheeks and to the tips of his ears. Perhaps Daryl felt it too, the heat.

Despite the obvious and sudden change in Daryl, Beth wasn't upset. She understood. She had been there when she had just tilted his world up on end, hurtling him into unknown territory. Daryl was going to be on unsteady ground for a while. Even she was a little unsure of what the next step would be but she wasn't in any hurry. Beth knew they had time. Days. Weeks. Years. She wasn't going to hurry or rush him.

Beth reached a timid hand up and brushed some stray hairs from the edge of her face, tucking them behind her ear. She didn't want to leave him, to be far from him, but she knew instantly he needed a little space. She didn't want him to run so she was willing to do this.

"It's been a long day…" Beth started, her voice trailing to give him an out.

Daryl's head gave a stiff nod under the veil of hair he had, agreeing with a deep grunt. He shifted his gaze up, his blue eyes peeking under the long veiled strands of dirty chestnut.

Her hand went back up trailing over the sensitive area she had just grazed. Her brush with death; it was crusted and scabbed over with a deep throb underneath. Beth winced at the touch.

His eyes honed in on the slightest change in her appearance, worry pinching his eyes. "Ya need rest," Daryl ordered lowly before his eyes flicked back away from her face, beyond to the woods surrounding them.

Beth hated to admit it, but he was right. The day, the events, everything that had happened was unexpectedly and very rapidly catching up to her. There was sudden weight in her body, a tired pull on her bones.

"Tomorrow," Beth said, breathing the word out softly.

Daryl looked perplexed. The poor man really didn't know if he was coming or going. Beth almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"We have tomorrow," she whispered with a soft smile as she walked away.

Beth knew he didn't understand, that he couldn't. She had never had a promise of a tomorrow. Even before the world had changed, no one could ever promise her a tomorrow would come. Then for the longest time, there had only been yesterdays for her to live in. So tomorrow was… well, it was uncertain, dangerous and still a desperate situation, but at least she knew she had one. It was strangely exciting to have one again… even if she didn't know what was going to happen.

The first thing Beth noticed upon returning to camp was a least a dozen set of eyes suddenly doing their best to avoid looking at her, sneaking and inquiring minds. Beth had to do her best not to smirk. Her eyes couldn't miss that fact that Glenn has taken her anxious sister off to the side. They seem to be in deep conversation, his hand physically holding her in place will they talked in hushed whispers. Beth had no doubt that the conversation was about her and what just happened. She had no doubt her sister would be pouncing on her the second she could with questions about the kiss, about Daryl. Beth loved her sister, she truly did. It was just that Maggie could be a bit much, always forward and brash and overwhelming. The flip side on Maggie was she was also loving and brave and a hard worker. She just didn't know how not to bust in and let the world know her opinions.

Being not quite as brave and fierce as the older brunette, Beth veered in the opposite direction from her sister and brother-in-law. She marched her way towards Rick, who seemed to be bouncing a slightly fussy Judith on his shoulder and rubbing calming circles into the small child's back. Beth had been overjoyed at the return of the little one. She loved Judith; she didn't think she could possibly love the little one more even if Judith had been one of her own.

"Need help with her?" Beth asked even as she knew she should rest. She just couldn't say no to the little Judith if help was needed.

Rick shook his head, never stopping as he kept up the calming motions on the sleepy but fussy Judith. "Nah, Beth. Thanks. I got this." He smiled gently. "I just got her back. Abe and Rosita got the road for first watch, Tyreese and Sasha got each side of the woods and the Dixons men…, "there was a slight pause and twitch of his lip at the Dixon part. Rick obviously had seen what had just happened. "…got our back. I'm going to keep her for now, I don't get much of this and… well…"

"No, I get it." She did. Beth was a little sorry she couldn't cuddle with Judith, but she got it. Rick was her father, he treasured their time. It created a wonderful heartwarming feeling inside her. It was great to be with family again.

"You just let me know if you need help." Beth let her fingers grace the wispy golden curls of the little girl, knowing she'd have ample time tomorrow or the next day to get her love in with Judith.

"You could… you could check on Carol for me. Stubborn. She might need something." Rick jerked his head to where the cars were lined up. Carol was leaned up against one of the wheels, resting with one of the few blankets their group had. She wasn't sleeping, watching and alert with her fierce, hawk-like eyes.

Beth nodded and headed in the direction. Carol was strong and tough and one of the bravest souls she had ever known. The change from lost little beaten house wife, to the strong and independent leader had happened so fast yet so seamlessly, it seemed like Carol had always been that way.

Carol met Beth's eyes at her approach, a little twinkle in there. Carol's lips pursed, perhaps refraining from smile. Yep, Carol had seen the kiss too. A blush of pink flushed Beth's pale face. Probably everyone had, from all the side glances she got from everyone as Beth finally reached Carol. She couldn't regret doing kissing Daryl, she had needed to. She did wish not everyone had seen it though.

"Rick thought you might need somethin', wanted me to check on you," Beth said her voice low.

Carol lifted her brows. "You're probably just as tired as I am."

Beth had to agree. Since the first mention of it moments ago, her weary body seemed to have reached its end point. She was tired, just utterly exhausted. Beth felt she hadn't slept in forever… maybe she hadn't after bouncing from time to time.

"You need anything? Water?" There was no medicine for either of them but there were a few creature comforts Beth could try to cover before she collapsed herself.

"I'd walk across hot coals for an Advil," sighed Carol, shifting uncomfortably. "But no. I'm good."

Beth glanced over to the side and saw Glenn looked to have sufficiently calmed her sister, they were sitting now and he wasn't holding her back. Good Ole Glenn. What would she do without him?

Carol followed Beth's line of sight and smirked. "You should stay here. Hide with me." She pulled the covers to the side a little. "Keep an old lady warm."

Beth didn't hesitate. She let her weary body drop to sit next to the other woman. Carol flipped the old wool blanket over Beth's legs as they rested back against the car and one another.

The warmth, that little extra bit of body heat against the chilly spring night was enough. It almost immediately lulled her. Beth was exhausted, but her eyes still wouldn't shut. She was so close to the blissful drifting sleep, but yet so far away, skipping over slumber like a stone over water. Beth had this little sense, just the tiniest nagging feeling that maybe… just maybe if she closed her eyes for too long that this all might not be real. This might not be happening; that she was still stuck in that strange looping universe. So many extraordinary and awe inspiring moments had happened to Beth, so much had changed that Beth didn't want her first new day to end. She fought against her heavy lids, knowing there was that possibility that this could all not be real.

Beth shifted slightly against her own fearful thoughts and let loose a drained sigh. She shouldn't worry, she couldn't. She had made it; she knew she would make it. They both would, her and Daryl both. That thought alone should settler her, let her relax even if it was only for a moment.

Under the blankets, Carol's hand sought hers. The cold fingers of the older woman's found and laced with hers. A small but welcome squeeze followed.

"Never thanked you for saving me," Carol murmured, not letting go of Beth's hand.

Beth squeezed her hand back, letting her tired head nestle back. "You never need to." Her eyes were so heavy.

"I know."

"Besides, you were on your way to rescue me," Beth whispered back.

Carol huffed a little. "I wasn't."

Beth popped her head back up, shifting her perplexed blue eyes onto Carol.

Carol tipped her head out. Beth followed her line of sight to the winged back of Daryl across the camp, perched and guarding. "I was just taken along for the ride. He did it. He found you. He never stopped looking, he never gave up hope."

The older woman squeezed her hand a little bit harder. There was a moment of reflection before Carol continued with a thoughtful undertone to her words. "He's different. He's changed."

"We've all changed."

"No… just in the time you had with him. You changed him," Carol countered softly. "Don't get me wrong. It's for the better… I think. You make him… You made him… hope, maybe…" Carol fumbled with a shrug. "Oh, I don't know what I'm saying... I'm so tired."

Beth got it; she thought she knew what Carol was trying to say. "He changed me too."

"I know. I can see that. Seems like the both of you are better together," Carol said with only the slightly hint of suggestion at the end.

Beth could feel the heat of her face. "Definitely better together," she replied, a little surprised at her own boldness.

A smile grew on Carol's face, one that reached her eyes. "Make sure he has the time to realize that." Carol whispered gently.

Beth nodded slowly as she leaned back against her friend and finally feeling comfortable enough to close her eyes. She would, she promised. She and Daryl had all the time in the world… or at least twenty plus years felt like that. Beth released a relaxed breath.

"And don't you dare hurt my Pookie. I'd hate to have to kill you," Carol cooed with one last squeeze of Beth's hand.

The teasing threat was also a warning that Beth had no doubt was true. She didn't respond to Carol, she didn't need to voice that she wouldn't. Carol _knew_. Carol didn't even have to warn her. Beth knew she'd never hurt Daryl, she'd never let anyone hurt him if she had anything to do about it.

She let the blackness drifter over hers, allowing the misty edges of sleep to filter into her aching self. She couldn't fight it anymore. With her last waking breath, she whispered, "Never." Beth would never let anything happen to him now that she had him again.

Never.

It was sudden and bright and startling. Her body was aching and pounding as she jumped against the blinding white that had engulfed her. Beth felt herself skitter against the light, desperate to fight against the brightness and absolutely terrified it was happening again. Not again… She'd stopped this, she had won, and she had earned the right to be alive… to just be… to exist.

A gentle hand on her shoulder paused her scrambling. "Beth. Beth, it's okay." It was Carol. The older woman was no longer seated next to her but kneeling to her side.

It took Beth another gulping, panic breath to realize it wasn't the past, that she wasn't trapped. It was a new day, and it was bright and blinding before her. She blinked rapidly against the harshness of the light. Apparently it was later in the day. The sun was already reaching midway up the morning skyline. Her head was throbbing, her body sore, but it was all okay. It was a new day.

"You're safe, Beth," Carol said calmly and evenly, another soft rub of her hand on the younger woman's arm.

Carol was confusing Beth's reaction with the nightmare they had both survived at Grady Memorial. Reliving that mad house twice had been bad enough. But it didn't measure against the terror that had clawed at Beth when she'd been startled awake from the deep sleep she'd been in. The terror of nothing new, of no more tomorrows, or of the dark, deep blackness of nothingness.

Still unable to speak due to a harsh dryness in her mouth, Beth moved slowly. She sat up and gave Carol a small nod of understanding. She was safe. She was alive. Beth took in a deep, life reaffirming breath to calm her wildly beating heart.

"You've been out for a long while. I didn't let anyone wake you. You needed the rest," Carol told her, easing her body back up slowly, her own injuries still very apparent.

Beth looked around the camp quickly. Her eyes were obviously searching and not finding what she was looking for. Daryl wasn't within eye shot.

Carol noticed. "He's hunting. Been out with Merle since the dawn break."

A little blush highlighted her cheeks at being caught so overly concerned. Beth nodded, dipping her head in thanks to Carol. Daryl… he was here, she was here. She had kissed him, he had kissed her back. She was still a little shocked at their boldness.

"Since we are outta gas, Rick, Glenn and Abraham went looking to see if they could scavenge some. Until then, we're stuck here. A few of us needed the rest; it's not the best spot so we aren't staying to long. We'll have to move out, at least some way. We can't spend another night out in the open," Carol informed her.

Normally, Beth didn't think she would have warranted the update. She had always been in the background. She looked at Carol, realizing the older woman saw her differently now. Beth thought maybe a lot of the group would see her differently now. She was different, she felt different. She wasn't just another dead girl.

"Take a moment. We don't have a lot for breakfast, but I saved you a bit. And some water too." Carol pointed to an area where their supplies were partially unloaded from one of the cars.

"Thanks, Carol," Beth said. "Does Judith need tending?"

Carol shook her head. "Tyreese has her. Just gotta worry about you for the moment."

Beth nodded a thudding in her head. Carol left her, limping off to another task. Beth reached a hand up to the throbbing scrape on the side of her head. Her wound was crusted and tender. There would be another scar to add to her collection.

Taking it easy on her bruised body, Beth rose slowly. It took a little time, but she got herself settled with some water to drink, a few stale crackers and a few minutes to get her bearings after being jarred awake.

Beth was just coming back from emptying her full bladder when she was ambushed by Maggie. She should have known it was coming, she should have been expecting a blow up with her older sister. There was no way Maggie would have let what happened yesterday just be. Instead, foolishly Beth let her sister come up behind her, snagging her with an almost pinching force and pulling her to the edge of their small encampment.

"Beth?!" Maggie tried to whisper in an attempt to be discrete but failing miserably. "What the hell are you and Daryl doing?"

Beth shrugged Maggie's hold on her arm off. "Calm down, Maggie. It isn't a big deal."

Maggie set her jaw, her green eyes flaming. "Not a big deal? I'm gonna kill that damn redneck. I told Glenn I'm – "

"I said _calm down_ ," Beth interrupted, stating the words more forcefully than before.

Maggie jerked her head back in surprise. She seemed a little taken back at the stern tone from the younger sister. There was a moment of pause between them as Maggie thought before she spoke her next words, a rarity for the eldest Greene.

"Daryl never said nothin' about… about you bein' with him. Or him with you. I'm shocked. It's probably somethin' someone shoulda told me," Maggie stated with a bit of bite in her tone, her hands going to her hips.

Beth let her head roll to the side. "No one said nothin' because we weren't."

Maggie furrowed her brow. "You kissed him. He kissed you. So what the hell am I missing?"

"Nothing, Maggie," Beth returned, her voice clipped. "It's simple. We didn't have _anythin'_ goin' on before. I know he cares for me, and I care for him. Daryl looked and searched for me when no one else did." Maggie winced at the last words; it wasn't Beth's purpose to hurt her with them, it was just a simple statement of facts.

"So… you feel like you owe him?" Maggie questioned a serious concern on her face.

"No, nothing like that," Beth countered, her tone a little softer now, needing to explain this correctly to her sister. "Time is too short to not let him know I do care for him. I just wanted him to know that. That's it, Maggie."

While the heated protective energy had seemingly melted off of Maggie, she still shook her head in defiance of the idea. "This just ain't a good idea. Daryl… he's just…"

Beth knew she had to stop her before she got started. There was no way in hell her sister was going to bully her down on this, not even one inch. Maggie had to know how it was going to be from day one; there was no questioning her and Daryl.

"Don't, Maggie. Just don't try and tell me Daryl's too old, or too crabby, or that's he's too broken. I survived weeks on end with the man. I think I know him better than any of you so trust me when I say I'm in this with eyes wide open. Daryl and I… there isn't anything wrong there."

Maggie looked at Beth, really looked at her. Beth wondered if for the first time Maggie was seeing her as adult, a woman to make her own choice, and not just the little sister. Beth was no longer that weakling who tried to kill herself, not someone who needed constant protection and to be looked after. Maggie seemed to actually be seeing her… Beth.

A long sigh escaped the brunette. "Beth…" Maggie stated more calmly than she had before, a pleading tone in the name, or perhaps a warning.

"Maggie," Beth countered in a similar tone, one that spoke volumes in so little. _Trust me. Believe in me._

"I just… I just don't want you to get hurt," Maggie responded with a forlorn look stretched across her features.

Beth pulled her sister into a hug, appreciating the care her sibling had for her. "I understand that, Maggie. I do. Daryl won't hurt me. Daryl is a good man," Beth told her, giving her a good reassuring squeeze.

Maggie hugged her back, perhaps a little too hard for her battered body. "He is," she agreed reluctantly with a click of her tongue. "He's damn dirty redneck that kissed my little sister, but he is a good man."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you for the great welcome back – I appreciated all the reviews. This chapter will have a little more BETHYL in this one for you. There will be progress but it will be slow and angst full as this one isn't meant to be super fluffy. Once again, this story will continue to jump around a bit with as most chapters won't be like the last few. There will be larger jumps of time between them – I'll try my best to keep to the show timeline but there might be a few changes. Let me know if you are enjoying the story!**

CHAPTER 9

"What the hell's the matter with ya?" growled Merle as he grabbed her arm and gave her a good shake. "Just because... _just_ because it happened doesn't mean you can't die, you stupid fuckin' bitch."

Beth barely registered what Merle was doing or saying. She just couldn't stop crying. Waves of grief were washing over her shaking body.

It was a horrible loss, such an unnecessary loss. Tyreese hadn't needed to die. Beth was still covered in so much blood. The last life of him having bleed all over her, streaked on her clothes and her face.

Beth felt like she was to blame. It was her fault. She'd had that feeling again, the one that preceded a death. It had been the same feeling that had haunted her deep inside in the hallway at Grady just before her fate had changed; her death replaced with Dawn's. Did her death mean Tyreese had lived before? Was he dead because of her? Or was it one of those fates that didn't change no matter what she did or tried? Another sob wretched from her and shook her small frame. Beth had hated repeating and knowing every moment for such a long time, even if she tried her damnedest to change it. Now she was a weeping mess, and wishing she knew. Was she the reason Tyreese was dead?

"You ain't goddamn immortal. You can't be a damn fool and be riskin' yourself for stupid shit," Merle snarled, his contorted face inches from hers, trying to get her attention.

Most of the family was tending to Sasha and a few others. She wasn't the focus, and Beth didn't want to be but Maggie and Daryl were on Merle in an instant. There was a shove and a scuffle as they ripped Merle from the crying Beth. The trio was shouting at each other, cursing and snapping at one another.

Merle was right, of course he was right. Just because she knew when she was _supposed_ to die, didn't mean she could risk herself unnecessarily. Hadn't she learned that fateful lesson in the hallways of Grady? She wasn't invincible, she couldn't be stupid. It was just that she'd gotten that feeling, that dark death feeling and had felt the need to join the venture to Noah's home at the last minute. She had snuck out with the crew without even letting Maggie or anyone else know. Maybe if she had stayed, maybe if she had done more… so many maybes….

Beth vaguely heard her own trembling voice calling for them to stop, that Merle was right. Her voice was tight, strained, as she confirmed she was stupid and reckless. It was probably all her fault.

"Beth, honey, it ain't," Maggie said, reaching for her. "Noah said you weren't even in the room."

She pulled back from the reassuring touch and shook her head to the negative, tears now streaking down the blood on her cheek. It didn't matter; Maggie couldn't possibly understand Beth's sense of culpability.

The ice blue eyes of Merle showed he understood. Merle didn't know if there should be blame, but he certainly could understand there was a possibility, just as Beth could. Merle shoved away from Daryl's grappling grasp and stomped away, a few more choice curses uttered under his breath. Merle knew just how fucked up this all was.

Beth turned as Merle had and dashed away in the opposite direction. She couldn't stand it at the moment, not the weeping of Noah or the shocked utterances of Sasha. There had been so much loss lately, too much for her heavy heart. Daddy. Mika. Lizzy. Bob. Tyreese. It was all just too much.

She didn't go far, she couldn't go far. It wasn't safe, and she knew now she had to be safe. This wasn't just about her anymore; it was never just about her. Beth found herself on the other side of their small camp, as far away as she could be within its circle. She sank down the trunk of a huge oak tree, finding solace under the far reaching and crooked branches. Beth pulled her knees tight to her chest and wrapped her skinny arms around, trying to encompass and hold of herself together as she continued to weep silently.

Sasha had already lost so much in such a short time, and she wasn't as much of a wreck as Beth at the moment. Perhaps Sasha's stoic staring and vacant look wasn't handling the grief well either. Maybe both of them were wrong or maybe both were right, either way Beth just couldn't stop crying.

Beth wiped at her face, trying to clear as much tears, snot and blood away as she could. Evening was fast approaching so she had to at least try to be quiet as she cried. Like Noah, who sat in the middle of camp, his arms curled around his head as if trying to protect himself from the horrors of his dead family. She could see the guilt in him. As if Tyreese's death was his fault for trying to take them somewhere safe or for his family, that perhaps he could have saved them all if he had only stayed behind.

She took in a rough and deep breath, taking another forceful swipe at her face. She ground the heel of her hands into her eyes, trying to stifle the tide of tears. Beth had promised herself a long time ago, no more tears. She pulled at the inner strength she had fought so hard to culture, trying to resurrect it from the well within. She had fallen apart when her father had died and her family had been torn apart. So had Daryl. With the help of each other, they had been able to pull each other back together.

Beth didn't even notice until she heard gravelly voice before her. "Greene." Daryl was standing next to her, his tall frame hoovering over her.

She didn't react immediately. Slowly Beth pulled her hands from her face but did nothing else for a space of a moment and then another. She didn't know what she was supposed to do or say. She was just too focused on trying not to start crying again.

Daryl seemed to be just as unsure as he shifted uncomfortably next to her. It took another moment before he decided to lower himself to her level. He knelt down slowly, his blue eyes finding it hard not to wince at her obvious pain.

Beth allowed herself a glance at him. Daryl looked so concerned. Despite the kisses they had shared a few weeks ago on the day they had reunited, there really hadn't been much more between them. The road wasn't really conducive to romance. It wasn't like they were Maggie and Glenn, doing it in a sleeping bag five feet from everyone else. They hadn't even really talked about the kiss or anything else for that matter. Daryl was hunting or protecting them most days and nights while Beth was helping to care for Judith and other daily activities. There just wasn't time. Beth supposed she'd have even less time now that one of Judith's caregivers was gone.

The simple thought alone started the tears to well up in her eyes again. Tyreese was gone. He was dead.

Before the tears could start to fall once more, Beth felt Daryl touch her arm. "Beth." His voice was low and quiet, yet so powerful. Daryl shifted to be seated next to her against the mighty oak, his crossbow next to them. He started to pull her towards him as he wrapped an arm over her shoulder.

She resisted slightly and gave a shake of her head. "I'm a bloody mess."

"Yeah, and like I've showered in weeks," he scoffed in return.

Beth stopped averting, letting herself be pulled to him. She buried her head in his chest as his strong arm enveloped around her. She squeezed her eyes tight against the raging hurt inside her.

How had she thought it was all going to be okay? That life would be wonderful and easy somehow because what she had seen. What the hell had she seen in the brief second between life and death? Beth had been sick and older. Daryl had been there along with a young woman she could only feel was her daughter. That was it. She knew nothing else. As far as she knew everyone in their small grouped family at the moment could be dead in the future. Dead tomorrow, dead the next week or dead in a year.

Although her journey for a second chance had been about accepting what she could and couldn't change, about letting go, and finding her future, she didn't want it to lead to the end of her family. Beth needed them all her, her family and friends. She didn't want to lose anyone else. She was so tired of losing.

Beth drew in a shaky breath. She knew she couldn't control the world. She never could, not before and not now. Beth wasn't a weak, scared little girl anymore. But she wasn't powerful enough to protect everyone either. That didn't mean she wasn't going to try if she could. Her family, her people, they were all she had left in this world.

Her thoughts stayed heavy, pushing on her eye lids. The day had been long and hard, and Daryl was warm and safe. She let her body relax against the sturdy man next to her. She closed her eyes, finally not afraid to let the darkness, the nothingness, take her to sleep.

Beth had stopped fearing she'd be waking up in a different reality every time she opened her eyes weeks ago. She no longer feared she was stuck in an endless loop. No, now she feared sleep for a different reason.

Nightmares. Gorman. The Governor. Walkers. Death. Pain. Touch.

She'd see her father die over and over again in front of her. She'd be trapped in the sterile walls of Grady with no escape. She'd feel his eyes and his hands as Gorman would graze over her. It never made much sense; Beth would just awake with a pounding heart in her chest and a rush of panic streaming in her veins, gasping and jerking conscious most mornings.

So when Beth woke slowly and easily for the first time in days, it was an immense relief to her. It was a moment of peace that she was utterly grateful to have. She knew it had everything to do with the man still at her side. Daryl never left her all night long.

It was cool out, the crisp morning air brisk against the exposed skin on her face. It was early spring, so the nights could still be very cold. Beth knew she must have snuggled in closer to his warmth during the night; she was practically in the man's lap. She wanted to burrow in further, to climb into his comfort and warmth. She wasn't sure what he'd do if she did, or if he'd even let her. Beth had felt him stiffen once he'd realized she had awakened. The man was so damn perceptive. She barely knew she was awake before he had. There would be no secrets around him.

Beth let her eyes open slowly, filtering in the sparse morning light. It was grey out still, soft and quiet in the space around them. She could see a few small tents popped up around the semi-circle of cars their people hand. It wasn't much since they had thought they'd have more yesterday and now realizing they had less today. She wasn't sure what had been decided after the disaster of yesterday, if anything at all had been. Where were they going to go? What was their next move? How were they going to live?

Beth knew those questions and more would come sooner rather than later. And if she woke up much more she'd have to face those questions rather than nestle into the warm haven she had next to her. She took a chance and snuggled in further with Daryl, griping his shirt in her fist and breathing him in deeply. It was a scent she'd gotten used to over the few months they'd been alone together. Sweat. Earth. Wind. Wild. Man.

"Mornin'." His voice was low, so low Beth more felt it in the rumbling of his chest than heard it from his voice.

She doesn't want this to end, this connection, closeness they'd been given this morning. They hadn't had a chance for this since… well, not ever being on the road. So Beth wanted to keep the moment, she wanted to take hold of it and never let either of them go, but she knew they did. Morning would come; there would be no stopping it. Daryl was already shifting under her small weight, his spine straightening.

With a measured releasing breath, Beth righted herself slowly. She ached a little, most likely from the way she had curled herself onto Daryl overnight. She opened her eyes fully. There was no one else up and about yet. Obviously there were a few guards on the perimeter but otherwise it looked like everyone else was still asleep.

Beth shifted herself until she was relaxed back against the oak tree next to Daryl, shoulders still touching. She rubbed her hands over her face once, pushing her frazzled hair back and tucked behind her ears. It was a new day. Another new day, and she always tried to appreciate a new day despite the heavy grief still solid in her chest.

She thought Daryl would have gotten up by now, that he would have taken his chance to run. But he didn't. Daryl had stayed. The thought alone made her smile. A small, barely noticeable one on her grimy face, but it was still there hiding amongst the dirt. It had been hard to know where he stood with her after their kiss. Sure, the kiss had told her a lot, but still there had been nothing more between them since then. Not a touch or look or anything that told her there was the more that she knew was there. Despite knowing, it would still be nice to have a little confirmation, something to drive her more confidently forward.

Daryl glanced over at her once, and then again. His dark blue eyes were darting and unsure. He looked like he wanted to ask her a question, to see if she was okay.

Beth took the liberty to answer without actually being asked. "I'm better. I just needed – " She wanted to say _him_ , but found it was probably better to say " – that. Thanks."

A deep grunt escaped Daryl, one of those that had so many different meanings to the novice ear. Ones that Beth had deciphered from their time together, learning the little intricacies of each. This particular one was his most reassuring grunt, letting her know it was no big deal.

Beth reached out a tentative hand and placed it on his forearm, wanting to touch him again. She slid her fingers over the muscle, the one she loved so much. She heard his breath quicken and felt his muscle tense under her touch. It was electric and woke her up fully, knowing she was getting as big of a response from him as well.

She let her hand travel down to his wrist, feeling the pounding blood under at his exposed vein there. She moved was slowly over him, it was agonizing, it was wonderful. She allowed herself the time until she got to his hand, her fingers nudging at his closed fist softly until his palm released. She took the opportunity and laced her fingers with his, tightening a hold. Rested her head back on his shoulder, letting them have this, this soft quiet time together, just the two of them

It was quiet, it was perfect, and it was wonderful until he spoke. "Ya ain't gotta, Beth." His voice was almost a whisper but still rough and harsh.

Beth lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him, but Daryl avoided her gaze. His head turned down and away with his dirty hair concealing what little she could see. Beth was confused. She thought they were having a quiet moment to themselves, something just for them. But here was Daryl seeming to not even want it. Beth didn't understand what he was trying to say, what seemed to be upsetting him. She had hoped it hadn't really been his avoidance, but with this reaction, it did seem like that was what had been happening over the last two weeks with the lack of contact between the two.

His refusal of what she was offering in the moment was bewildering until he spoke again. "Ya don't owe me a thing."

"What does that mean, Daryl?" she asked softly.

His dark blue eyes flashed to hers before dropping away again. "I found ya. Don't mean ya gotta… ya gotta pay me back." He voice dropped lower after a gulping swallow. "I got the message back at the funeral home. Don't have to… ya don't owe me nothing."

Daryl shook her grip loose from his hand in a sudden flash of anger, maybe at being forced to speak an emotion, a hidden fear, or maybe at the memory of her perceived rejection. Beth wasn't sure, but was stunned enough to let her grip fall away. She knew in a flash that Daryl was jumping away from her. He was going to be gone if she let him run, and she couldn't have that. Not when Beth had just gotten a taste of having it just be the two of them again. She'd given him enough time; she wasn't having him run now.

Beth rose quickly, getting to her feet just behind him as he collect the crossbow that had been resting beside him. "Hey," she breathed as she reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him.

Daryl stopped all movement as her hand tightened on his. Beth tugged him back upright to her, close but not touching. He was almost weightless against her pull, so willing to come along but still somehow slightly resistant.

His words had utterly surprised her. Daryl thought she was trying to be _appreciative_ , that she couldn't possibly have another reason to where she was or doing what she was doing. Well of course Beth was thankful that Daryl had searched for her when no one else could be bothered… but that didn't mean her _attention_ was an obligation. No, that wasn't the reason she was griping him so tightly, wanting to keep him near.

"What kind of girl do you take me for?"

The question surprised him; his eyes darted back to her face again.

"Am I the kind of girl that would do anything she didn't want to?" Beth questioned lightly. Visions of peach schnapps, moonshine and a burning shack all came to the forefront of her mind. His features softened a bit, a harshness leaving that made her think he might be remembering the same time as well.

Daryl let out a snort of agreement. She was definitely a woman with her own mind.

Beth offered him a soft smile. "This is exactly what I want to be doing."

"Ya still don't have to."

"I know. It's not a have… it's a want, Daryl. Don't you want to?" Wow, those last words came out too fast before she'd had time to think about them. That question was a lot, even for her. And Beth felt it instantly in the hand she was holding, a slight pull and twitch of his fingers. The world around them had suddenly gone quiet and still, Daryl even more so than normal.

Beth didn't think Daryl was going to answer her. She didn't know if she wanted him to answer in the state of mind he was in. She probably wouldn't like the answer.

Instead, before Daryl had a chance to respond beyond his stunned and panic look, Beth continued, "I had time to think while… while we were apart."

Beth wanted to tell him this pull between them was real, that they had something special that was going to last. She wanted to put him at ease with the knowledge of them together for the next few decades, that she was never going anywhere again without him. She thought fate owed him that certainty and she desperately wanted to tell him. But deep down, she knew she couldn't. Beth knew she couldn't possibly explain it and make him understand, not without making him think she was damn crazy. Maybe she was. In the end, all that mattered was Daryl understood that she cared for him.

"Daryl, I'm here… right here with you because I want to be." Her hand tightened on his fingers, wrapping tightly to hold him in place. She felt the need to do that with all she wanted to tell him next.

"I'm not going anywhere again, Daryl. I'm back. I'm here. And I'm yours," Beth whispered gently.

Daryl looked sharply at her, his entire body tensing at her words. It might have been a bit much for the older man to hear, he didn't seem to have the same certainty she held within. Beth could feel him pulling, gravitating to the direction opposite of her but yet still hoovering there next to her, full of doubt at her declaration.

Beth licked at her lips nervously, needing to soothe the tension. "Listen, I know it's not ideal right now. This… this whatever it is we have. And it is _something_ , Daryl, so please don't tell me it's not."

She held his eyes with her own, daring him to deny the connection she knew they both felt. There might not be a name for it yet, not exactly, but she knew damn well he felt it too. Even now there was a tingle where they were touching, a heat between their linked hands.

Daryl didn't deny it. He looked down at her, his darkened eyes not breaking from hers, and said nothing. While he didn't reject the idea, it didn't seem like he could entirely agree either. And that was okay with Beth. This was just the beginning for them, it was just the start. Daryl didn't need to have the answers right now, especially since she didn't either. He didn't need to say a thing, his look was enough.

Beth felt a little braver and pushed forward, leaning closer to him and titled her head up to his. "I ain't asking for much. I ain't asking for anything that you can't give. Just… just maybe a warm body to sleep next to on cool nights. Maybe a smile in the mornin' or before one of us has to go on a run. Just a touch, a look… just you, Daryl."

His eyes shied a little, a tinge of red blushing to his tip of his ears peeking out from his hair but he didn't bolt. That was all the encouragement Beth needed. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"More can come later if we want. But now, with everything and the uncertainty we face, let's just be. Let's just enjoy what we can, when we can," she offered him quietly with the full weight of her heart behind it.

Those seemed to be the right words for him. Something of what she had said seemed to resonate with him. Daryl actually seemed to drift back towards her a little, his body inclining towards hers. His eyes softened as he looked over her face.

"You are a damned determined woman, aren't you?" His voice continued to stay low, just for the two of them.

"Yes," Beth offered with a small smile. "And I always get what I want."

Daryl left out a huff of humored air with a twinge of his own smile at the corner of his mouth.

But she didn't always get what she wanted. Beth wanted another kiss from him in that moment. She didn't just want it, she craved it. Every fiber of her body wanted to push up on her toes and press her lips to his as she had done before. Beth wanted him to be bold and capture her lips for the kiss that in the moment they both seemed to desperately ache for.

Unfortunately, Beth had to settle for the hug they both leaned in for. The grazing of his lips on her forehead and a tightened squeeze of his hand before she let him roll off and disappear into the morning as the camp around them started to wake. There would be time. Beth knew they had the time.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I don't own TWD or the characters but I do love to play with them from time to time.**

Chapter 10

Alexandria.

Safety. Walls. People. Resources.

It was a seemingly perfect haven for their group. Their arrival still seemed a little uncertain amongst the community here. The citizens of Alexandria couldn't be blamed for that; their family had been a rough looking gang when they had rolled up to the gates.

Three days here and Beth still felt uncertain. She wanted to jump all in like Maggie and Glenn seemed to be doing, reveling eagerly in their new roles. A part of her couldn't help feeling suspicious. Something deep down was telling her that this place was too good to be true, that it wasn't real. Beth had seen it at Grady; even the most haven-like places had a darker underbelly. She just couldn't relax here until she knew what it was even if it was just these people's own naivety.

Beth sighed tiredly as dried the last of the dinner dishes. She placed the last plate into the cupboard and hung her towel to dry. Carol had cooked them a fabulous meal. It was astounding how quickly Carol had jumped from lethal killer and protector to den mother in a cardigan.

Everyone was settling down for the evening. Their group had finally decided to fill out the two houses that had been assigned to them. Maggie, Glenn and a few others had gravitated to house next door. Beth had decided to stay behind in the main house with Carol, Michonne, Rick, Carl, Judith and... Daryl.

They were all accepting Alexandria at varying levels with Daryl probably the one resisting it the most. He was still out on the porch, not having really come into the house at all in the few days since they had arrived. Daryl stayed ever vigilant, watching and protecting from his perch outside. Beth had watched him do a patrol each night while everyone else was sleep, still attempting to keep them safe.

Beth didn't want him out there alone again. She didn't want to go to her assigned room alone either, at least not for the first time. She thought there was a pretty perfect solution to those problems but wasn't sure if Daryl would agree.

She ducked her head into the living room quickly, noting most of the family had settled in there quietly to enjoy the rest of the evening. Noting everyone was comfortable and good, Beth eased her way back through the kitchen and out to the porch where Daryl was resting up against the white railing. A newly lit cigarette was resting on the edge of his lips.

Daryl eyed her cautiously, shoving his lighter back into the pocket of his leather vest as he took a long drag from his cancer stick. A few of the women in their family, Carol in particular, had been fairly pushy at him in trying to get him to assimilate and clean up. Perhaps even get him into a nice pair of khakis and a polo shirt. Daryl had none of it which was apparent as he stood before her in his dirty clothes with his duct taped pants over his ratty old boots.

Beth hadn't pushed with the others even when she'd been thrown exasperated looks from Carol. She wasn't going to push him not when she herself barely felt right here. She wasn't about to force him

There was no way Beth could deny that being clean and safe was wonderful. Her first shower with the hot water and soap had felt glorious against her skin, but that shine was wearing off and she didn't feel the safety she knew she was supposed to have here. Not like the feeling she had when Daryl was near. Alexandria just didn't feel right yet, not like a home. Maybe there had just been so many disasters each time they decided to settle in…. her family farm, the prison, the funeral home.

Beth walked over to be by him, close but not entirely in his space. She learned from her time with him that Daryl wasn't always comfortable with touching and people in his sphere, even at times with her. It was okay. Beth didn't need to hang on him to feel good, just having him close was comfort enough. Daryl had that way about him, to relax her just with his mere presence.

Beth wrapped her arm around the white banister nearest to him and leaned her head against it. She looked out down the darkening street. There were a few lights on in the other houses now that the sun was setting. It looked just like before, just like any other street in America before the dead had risen. Beth sighed at the memory. She didn't want to think about before. That part of life was gone; her new life was before her as she turned her gaze back to Daryl.

His pack and bow were at the floor not far from him, just as they had been the last two nights. It looked like Daryl was planning on sleeping out on the porch for a third night. All the rooms in the houses were taken; it had been discussed over dinner. There were still areas like a den or a study available to Daryl if he had been interested, which it seemed obvious that he wasn't. Beth didn't want him to do that either. She wanted him in her room, with her. No point in not saying something to him, knowing it was move he wasn't ever going to make on his own. There had been a definite move of closeness between them after their talk. Nights where she was able to enjoy his warmth, a few small touches, but nothing as bold as what she was about to suggest.

Beth toed his pack with her bare toe. "It's safe here. You don't need to be sleepin' on the porch again. Rick said it was okay for everyone to relax a little." She knew it wasn't completely safe here, even she didn't believe that. Beth didn't know if that really existed in this world they lived in anymore, but it was the best they'd had in a very long time. Maybe it was time she forced herself to accept it too.

"Ain't no where safe," Daryl countered with a long blow of smoke.

Beth couldn't argue that, not one damn bit. "Still… you don't need to be out here when there is a perfect good roof to be under."

Daryl huffed loudly. "Might as well sleep here, all the beds taken and that damn fancy couch in there ain't one bit comfortable."

Beth knew she could tell him they'd find him a different bed; there were ample numbers available here in Alexandria. She could tell him that Carl would be willing to share a room with him. Or even the den idea, but Beth didn't even want him to consider any of those options. No, Beth had only one goal in mind tonight. She wanted a good night's sleep. She hadn't had one she their group had arrived. First, it was mostly due to the excitement and strangeness of the place. But last night Beth realized it was the fact that she'd had two nights without him. She had gotten used to him next to her, even a few feet away kept her satisfied. Beth wanted that again. She might even want a little more.

"We can share my room," Beth said, nipping at the edge of her lower lip. Bold and forward, she decided to meet his stunned look head on.

Beth was surprised when his eyes don't drop but rather hold hers for what seemed like endless eternity as her statement hung unreturned heavily between them. She was lucky she had the porch banister to brace her while she waited for his response.

This would be a big step for them, one that been avoided while their family struggled to survive on the road. Well, not necessarily avoided by her, but Beth knew there was still a hesitance in Daryl. There were a few nights they had been cozied up by a fire or perhaps even a stolen chaste kiss after that devastating storm a few nights ago, but Beth knew Daryl had definitely been adverse to too much alone time or public displays of affection. Beth knew it was partly his nature and perhaps a little due to his fear of public judgement, despite all evidence to the contrary. It had been strangely quiet from their group after that first kiss. Only her sister and Carol had ever breached the topic with her. Beth guessed that maybe Rick had spoken with Daryl, but that was it. Their budding relationship seemed to be a complete non-topic amongst the group; everyone just went with the flow. Beth had been giving him his time and space despite wanting a little more. Not too much more, but a little movement forward for what was developing between them.

Beth finally had to break the silence between them, giving him a push. "I sleep better when you are there."

Daryl shot her a skeptical look, pulling a drag from his cigarette. The tip flared bright orange in the dim evening light.

The nightmares were still there, the groping hands, the attacking governor, the dying over and over again. But they were less when Daryl was next to her, his presence alone seemed to keep the darkness at bay. In addition, if one did manage to get by her Daryl barrier, it was better if he was there when she startled awake, gasping and trembling. Beth always calmed faster when Daryl was within arm's reach, his protective fold encasing her to chase the bad away.

"I still get them," Beth countered truthfully. "But if you are there, then not as much. And if I do and you're there, you make me feel safe when I wake up."

Daryl still didn't answer her right away so Beth let her eyes do her final imploring, her soft baby blues looking over at him. She didn't want to beg him, but found she would if she needed to. Beth just wanted him close, not further way like the last few days had felt like while everyone settled into whatever new normal this was now. She wanted the closeness of the road again, the tight togetherness they had developed from their alone time.

He slowly searched her face, seeming to consider her words. It seemed like minutes, but in reality only a single breath's time before Daryl pulled the cigarette from his mouth and blew out the smoke. He dropped it to the porch, the edge of his boot snuffing it out.

Daryl didn't look at her as he nodded. "Okay," he muttered lowly, a deep rumble from his chest.

Beth couldn't stop the grin that jumped onto her face. "Okay," she replied, trying to contain the happiness in her chest. It was threatening to spill out by having her bounce over to him and throw her arms around him in a crazy hug.

Instead, Beth twisted back around and snatched up his pack and bow from the floor next to them. "I'll put these inside," she said, not waiting for an answer as she walked into the house. Yes, it was a little dirty ensuring Daryl had to follow her, but Beth decided she wanted a little collateral on his promise.

Hours passed so it was later than Beth had hoped when she finally saw Daryl again. Beth was already in bed, waiting for her first sign of him after leaving the porch. A pair of purple lounging pants and an old, oversized floral t-shirt on her with her hair pulled back into a braid as she was curled up with a book in the center of the cozy mattress. There was finally time to enjoy the simple pleasure again. Her lamp light was low, but Beth noticed the edge of her door creep open.

Beth immediately sat up, a jolt of excitement coursing in her. Daryl was finally entering her room… no, _their_ room. As he poked the first edge of his body into the room, Beth instantly noted his hair was wet and his clothes were different. He was now in a white t-shirt and grey sweat pants with no socks. His arms were full of a few essentials and other clothes while his boots dangled down from his hands.

"Finally found the joys of the warm water, did you?" Beth couldn't stop herself from teasing, a little smirk on her face.

Daryl grunted with annoyance. "Carol told me I couldn't get the damn sheets all dirty."

Ah, so mother hen Carol had been at him again. God bless that woman. There weren't many that could move the mountain of stubbornness in Daryl.

Beth closed her book and placed it on the night stand. "You can put your stuff on top of the dresser for now. We can figure out places for everything in the morning." His crossbow and pack were in the corner of the room already, waiting for his arrival.

Daryl deposited his pile on top with a plop with his boots going to the floor next to the dresser. Then he turned and looked around the room, his eyes giving the layout and everything a quick once over. It was one of the smallest bedrooms in the house. Most of the rooms upstairs were bigger, but Beth hadn't wanted to be up there with the others. This small room just off the main living area had spoken to her a little more, perhaps in case Daryl had decided to stay in the den or on the porch so she would have been closer to him.

There was a full sized bed, a dresser with a mirror, a nightstand and a small closet in their room. It really was more of a guest room due to the smaller bathroom with a standing shower just down the way that made it more appealing as well. The colors in the room were soft and muted, like most of the rooms in these new modern houses. The walls were a light shade of blue with white wood. An intricate piece quilt lay across the bed, a patch work blossoming different shades and patterns of blue, grey and lavender.

"C'mon, it's late," Beth ushered, pulling him from his quiet observation of the room.

Beth didn't want what came next to be awkward like it had the potential to be. She didn't want him to be uncomfortable despite the newness of it all. Beth just wanted him next to her, to listen to his steady, rhythmic breathing as they slept. She had been honest about that. More would come later when they were both ready and relaxed.

Her hand reached over and turned the small lamp off with a quick snap, letting darkness envelop them. Only a small amount of moonlight highlighted the features in the room softly. Beth pulled the covers back and moved over to the other side, allowing him better access to the bed. Daryl hesitated in the dark only a half a second, less than she had anticipated. He sat on the bed and slid in under the covers. The bed wasn't huge. A man of his size could have easily taken up the entire bed. As a couple a queen or king would have been more practical, but the full was almost better in her opinion. Beth wanted closeness; she wanted Daryl next to her.

It was a nice surprise for her as Daryl settled in next to her easily on his back. His arm reached over and pulled her small frame up next to him. It wasn't aggressive or sexual, but rather an easy movement that allowed them connection. Beth let herself relax against his warmth. Her head rested on his shoulder while her arm curled onto place over his chest. This was all she would ever need, she was certain of it, his beating heart, the warmth of his soul and his hand on her back. Beth was asleep within minutes.

The next morning Beth found she couldn't stop smiling. The new day was sunny and glorious. That night's sleep was the best damn rest she'd had in years. And Beth knew Daryl had a great sleep as well. Daryl had actually slept in. It was well past dawn.

Beth didn't even mind the wagging brows of Michonne when she thought Beth couldn't see her. The smirk on Rick's face from behind his coffee mug couldn't dampen her mood either. Nope, she didn't let the playful teasing bother her at all. And what was even more amazing is that Daryl didn't seem to care either. Not one bit.

With everyone gone, Beth was making them a fresh pot of coffee. There was a little disappointment at not being up with the rest of the crew. They had missed some apple pancakes from Carol. Absolutely divine or so they had been told. Beth didn't mind, their sleep had been worth it. She just wanted a little of that glorious coffee that Alexandria had to offer. Hot showers and a cup of liquid morning, maybe this place wasn't too bad…

The morning was just hers and Daryl's for a bit. Carol was off to chat up Alexandrians. Rick and Michonne were off to fulfill their new deputy duties. Carl had Judith for a bit. Neither she nor Rick had jobs assigned yet. For now, it was just the two of them. Daryl was out on the porch again, perhaps needing to get his eye on the land again. And Beth was in the kitchen, waiting for the beep from the magical coffee machine.

As Beth heard the beep, she almost missed the voice. But then she was sure she heard it again as she poured the coffee into two cups. There was a woman out on the porch with Daryl. Beth heard the new woman speak again, and then Daryl responded, something audible just above a grunt.

Curious, Beth opened the screen door. She tried her best to smile welcomingly as she approached them. The new blonde standing a little too close to Daryl for either of them as Daryl leaned back away from her.

"Good morning," Beth sung her greeting, coffee cups in hand.

"Oh, good morning," returned the woman, a genuine smile on her face. "I'm Jessie. I live the next street over. My husband, Pete, is the doctor in Alexandria, but I'm here to offer my unique services," Jessie explained as she raised her small bag and scissors. "I'm a hair dresser… or was…"

Jessie must have been the one to help return Rick from the wild man he was to being almost unrecognizable their second day in Alexandria. Rick was almost looking like the same man he'd been when he first ran up to her family's farm two years ago. Almost the same man if you didn't look at the darkness in his eyes.

"I was just here to offer Daryl a cut. A few others took me up on it yesterday," explained a chipper Jessie.

Beth could see it, she saw it the instant she walked out the screen door. This Jessie was a little too close to her Daryl for either of their comfort. Perhaps Jessie just didn't realize it, there was no way Jessie could know that this man enjoyed his space. Perhaps it was on purpose. Beth knew there had been more than a few looks in their direction from neighbors. Especially the woman when Daryl was concerned. He was a sight to see, wild and dirty with a biker look with his winged vest. Beth was sure the women were just nosy, but she also guessed a few might like what they saw, thinking there might be new game in now. And that just wasn't the case.

Beth felt a sudden urge to stake her claim.

"Well, isn't that nice of you," Beth proclaimed as she walked forward to Daryl. She took brave step and settled in between his leaning legs to hand him his coffee. Daryl took the mug, surprised at her boldness and closeness but accepted both willingly enough.

Beth took a sip of her coffee before she fingered the edge of Daryl's hair, the part that flared at his jawline. She knew Daryl when it had been shorter, cropped close to his head. It would have been easy enough for him to have it cut at the prison or any other time for that matter. Carol had always helped the family out with that task so he could have it cut shorter at any time but never did. Beth guessed Daryl may have liked it as much as she did on him. The length suited him. Beth never thought she'd like it before, the long and wild look, but found she strongly did now.

"I like it longer, don't you?" Beth asked him coyly, her fingers playing still at the edge of his hair.

Daryl managed a small smirk back at her, understanding the little game she was playing. "Yeah, it's fine. Just have you cut it if'n I wanted it done," he said before he took a drink of his own coffee, his eyes solid on hers.

Beth smiled back from the edge of her coffee mug. This almost felt like flirting. Something she didn't know if they'd ever really done.

To her credit Jessie seemed completely unphased by them. "Sounds good. Carl apparently likes sporting the cool look too," Jessie teased lightly. "Just know if you need a cut too… uh, Beth, it is? Then I can help out."

Beth let her eyes linger on Daryl's dark blue ones for just a second more before she slowly turned around to Jessie. "Yes, Beth is my name. Thank you, Jessie, but I'm good for now too." She leaned back into Daryl, bringing her mug to lips again for a long drink of warmth.

Jessie didn't linger, leaving down the porch steps after a quick goodbye. The middle aged woman had seemed nice enough, but no one Beth wanted to hang out with at that particular moment. There would be time to flush out the Alexandrians later; right now she just wanted more of Daryl.

"Trying to make a statement, are we?" Daryl said once Jessie was safely far enough away. His voice rumbled from his chest to against her back since she was still leaning against him.

Beth let a little chuckle escape her. "Maybe," she hummed in return, trying to use her mug to hide her smirk.

"Carol said we're supposed to be makin' _good_ impressions here. Not lettin' everyone know I'm a dirty old man," Daryl grumbled half-heartedly.

True. Their own family and friends didn't see their coupling, or whatever definition you wanted to give, as problematic. Only her sister freaked for a fleeting half a day before Maggie positively accepted it, not even raising her brow at them sharing a room. Here in Alexandria it might be different. As Beth shifted her gaze down the street she could see two chatty women throwing questioning looks over their shoulders at them as they gossiped.

"That Deanna woman thought I was fifteen," Beth snickered as she moved off him but next to him, nudging him playfully in the ribs as she went.

"Shit," Daryl said with amusement before a thought seemed to spring forward on his face. "How damn old are you, Beth?"

Age was a number that was so important in life before. At sixteen you got your driver's license. When you turned eighteen you could vote and join the army. At age twenty-one, you could finally have that legal alcoholic beverage. By thirty you'd better be married with a kid or two. Then at forty you were starting to get old. At sixty you were definitely old. By the time you reached eighty, they'd better be handing you an award for lasting that long. What did age matter now? What made you an adult in this world definitely was not the number of years you had been revolving around the sun.

Still, Beth knew Daryl was apt to be a more concerned about her answer than she was. "I guess about nineteen. I don't really know what day it is but my birthday is in the spring. Could be today for all I know. I suppose someone around here could tell us what day it is," she offered as nonchalantly as possible.

Daryl let his head hang. "Goddamn. I am a dirty old man." He muttered another curse under his breath as he took another drink from his mug.

"Oh, and how old are you, Mr. Dixon?" Beth quipped.

"Fuck if I know anymore," Daryl growled.

"I guess you do start to lose your mind when you get as old as you are," Beth harassed lightly.

Daryl growled lowly again. The rumbling from his chest felt good against her, a vibration she could get used to. Beth was enjoying the teasing fun, but knew for Daryl there was some truth in it.

"Damn old enough to your old man. Sure as hell old enough to know better," he grumbled.

She nudged him with her elbow in the side. "And I'm old enough to know what I want, Daryl. Let's not do this again."

There was some more muttering under his breath, perhaps an accusation of being a pushy broad. "Don't see why I got to be the one to look bad just 'cause you gotta stake a claim."

Beth raised her brow as she shot him a side look. "Not gonna lose what's mine to any of these stuffy old house wives."

Daryl snorted loudly. "Like I'd even look if'n they came around. Like what I have already."

"Good answer," Beth beamed.

Daryl thrummed a response from deep in his chest as he put his arm around her. "I get it right once in a damn while." He put his lips on the top of her head with a chaste kiss.

 **A/N: Sorry for any editing errors. I suck at editing my own stuff and I have no BETA. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here we go with a little angst. I hope everyone enjoys!**

Chapter 11

It started with a kiss.

Beth had been mad at him. Daryl had left her alone at that stupid party with all those stupid people playing dress up and eating little party foods. Sure Maggie and Glenn and a few of the others had been there but that wasn't who Beth had wanted to be with.

She had understood why he hadn't come. Parties. Crowds. New people. None of that was up his alley. Still, Daryl could have at least rescued her and pulled from the tedious conversation with the Alexandrians. She liked spaghetti. She liked Aaron and Eric. Beth knew an evening with them would have been better than the crowded gathering she had been abandoned to.

The evening had ended with her waiting for his return on the porch in the dark. She had been irked but not fuming. Half way through her grumbling lecture at him, Daryl had gathered her up in his arms and kissed her hard. The same kind of kiss she's received weeks before, the one she had been dreaming of in the bed next to him.

A breathless minute later, Beth had told Daryl he'd be completely forgiven if he kissed her again. She hadn't even been able to get all the words out of her mouth before his lips were on her again. His arms had encircled her waist, pulling her to him. She had let him, her body relaxing against him. Her own hands traveled up and into his hair, scraping her nails against his scalp as the kiss had deepened. It had been a damn good kiss. It had been worth the wait.

From that moment on, Beth no longer had to wait for a kiss. She had been kissed in bed that night, and every of the few nights they'd had after that. Those had been soft and gentle. He had kissed her in front of everyone before leaving with Aaron the last time, a little shy and quick. The hoots and hollers had been worth it.

Tonight, once the door was closed to their room, Beth kissed him. She kissed him hard and with a need she hadn't felt before. Beth had missed him while Daryl had been gone, searching for new people with Aaron. She knew he wanted to try, he wanted to be of use, and she had supported him but she had still missed him like hell for few days he was gone each time.

There had been a lot of chaos while Daryl had been beyond the walls, important information that needed to be discussed. The electronic run had gone disastrously wrong. Beth felt good about talking Noah out of joining the run crew. His injured leg wasn't up to the dangerous task. They had lost Aiden, but Rosita had kept her head when Nicholas had panicked. Then Rick had lost his mind over that Jessie woman and fight broke out. All of that and so much more needed to be discussed when Daryl and Aaron had arrived with the mysterious Morgan to see the execution of murderous Pete. So much they needed to talk about but both were using their lips for another task at the moment.

Each time they kissed, that had been it. Nothing more, not even hand holding. There was no push for more. Beth found herself strangely relieve by the pace they were moving. She was perfectly fine with where they were at. Gorman's assault still haunted her at strangest moments; she didn't want that past and these moments to get mixed up. It seemed that Daryl was fine with their relationship pace too. Beth wanted more sometimes, but sometimes more was a little scary. The line they were toeing had been fine… until now.

So Beth was surprised when after they broke apart, gulping in desperate breaths and their foreheads touching, that Daryl ripped his leather coat from his body and tossed it to the corner. He took her in his arms and kissed her again. Her body shivered against him as he leaned her down to the bed. The light was off. This was different, this was more.

Before she had a chance to think about it, Beth let herself sink into the moment. She let herself enjoy the weight of Daryl on her. He'd never crowded her like this before. His hard body against hers, his hands up framing her face, his lips caressing hers with a care she hadn't felt before. Beth didn't feel pressure, she didn't feel trapped. She felt completely at easy and could believe how her body actually seemed to crave more.

Her hands griped at his well-defined muscular arms. His skin was hot, burning her touch. Beth let a small sound escape from the back of her throat.

Daryl murmured she was beautiful between his kisses. Beth let him know she'd missed him, missed his so damn bad. They shifted their bodies further onto the bed, drawing in as close as possible to one another. As Daryl continued to kiss her, a thumb caressed against her cheek. She sighed her approval into his mouth.

Their affections continued as Beth let her hands wander down from the safety of his strong arms. She let them travel down his ribcage, her nails digging in lightly down the length of him. Daryl let his own groan of appreciativeness escape between a kiss. Encouraged, Beth dared more. She continued until her hands reached the hem of his t-shirt. Beth let her hands sneak under, seeking the warmth of his skin again. She spread her hands out over the small of his back, her own breath quickening just at the touch.

The part of him there was hard and taunt, just like the rest of him but it wasn't smooth like his arms. The further Beth traveled up, the rougher and more raised his skin was. It was only a moment before Daryl instantly stilled under her touch. She had reached his scars, not realizing it in the moment.

Beth froze with him, neither of them moving. His lips were still on hers, but there was nothing behind it anymore. There was no more heat, just frozen uncertainty. A child swept over her arms, goose bumps jumping to the edge of her exposed skin. She had done something wrong, something forbidden. She hadn't meant to go beyond, to ruin their new found exploration.

Suddenly, Daryl pulled himself off of her. He refused to meet her eyes as he flopped over onto his back. His breathing came in gulps and rushes as he threw an arm over his face, hiding even in the dark. Beth was startled by the abrupt retreat but knew better than to follow. She knew he needed time to settle.

Beth lay quietly next to him, not sure what to do next. She let her gaze focus on the ceiling above her. It was dark in their room, but she could still make out the bumps spread across the white ceiling. Beth missed the stars sometimes at night. She missed the wide open spaces and clean air too. There was safety here in Alexandria so it felt a little strange to her to miss the wilderness but she still did all the same. Daryl had always been comfortable in wilds, in his element, which is why she thought he was a little eager to escape the walls and search with Aaron. Even at the prison, he'd had a need to go beyond the safety of the fences and be in the open. Daryl was a man who didn't like to be boxed in.

Beth took in her own deep, calming breath. She could feel Daryl so rigid and tense next to her. It hit her suddenly that he was scared. Maybe it was of her or the knowledge of what she had touched. No matter what, the fact was Daryl Dixon was scared. The last thing in the world Beth wanted was to be the cause of any fear in the man next to her. She had to suppress her urge to comfort him, to reach over and touch him. She didn't want to drive him further away.

Their arms were still touching as they lay side by side. It was the one connection they still had at the moment with both of them laying quietly in the darkness. Beth loved the feel of him even if it was just his muscular bicep. He was warm and hard and so much, even if it was just his arm pressed up against hers. Daryl was a big man; even now he was taking up most of their small bed. There was just so much of him, tall, dark and handsome. She knew even with their size difference, her small frame would be too much if she crept closer to him.

Daryl released a long and shaky breath. Beth could tell he wanted to say something as if he was on the verge of asking for forgiveness. Beth realized she didn't want Daryl to have to say that to her. He never had to apologize to her for his reaction. They each had their own scars.

"It's okay," Beth whispered soft and easy before he could work up the courage to speak.

Daryl worked hard to swallow, his throat having difficulty in clearing. "Beth," he groaned, rough and pained as he pulled his arm from his face.

Beth didn't want Daryl to feel that way, to feel less in some way. She knew he felt like he was broken, that something was wrong with him. She could feel that just from the way he said her name, tortured and lost. Beth wanted Daryl to know it really was okay. There was no anger or pity or sorrow, just understanding.

She rolled up on her elbow, looking over at him. Despite the darkness, Beth could still see him. She could always see _him_. Just in the same way she knew he could always see her.

There were scars on her face now, ones that Beth knew Daryl could see in the moment. Strangely no one had asked about them after Grady. It was just another part of her that everyone had accepted rather quickly, much like her new found ability to take care of herself. Beth hadn't even realized how ugly her scars looked until they had arrived at Alexandria. The first time she'd seen her face in the mirror her own reflection had stunned her. Her blue eyes struck by the ugly pink marks on her forehead and cheek.

Beth hadn't been vain before the dead rose. Well… maybe a little. But you couldn't really blame her, could you? She had flawless cream skin, long blonde hair and those sky blue eyes all tucked into her petite figure. Beth knew she had been beautiful, even enough to turn heads when she walked down the high school hallways. But now she had those gashes on her face, twisted and puckered.

Daryl had thumbed her scars from time to time before a kiss, caressing them tenderly. She didn't mind the attention. She did mind the dark look Daryl got in his eyes when he did. A pained expression of not knowing the story behind her newly marred flesh. Beth had never told him, she had never told anyone. She didn't talk about her time at Grady.

Perhaps Daryl needed to know her dark history before he would be able to talk about his. Her scars were bad. Her time at Grady had marred her in more than one way, but she supposed Daryl's own secret past was even worse than she could imagine from what little she did know.

Beth set her soft eyes on his. "Daryl, really… it's okay. I understand. We don't have to talk about it now. We can talk about it later when you want… if you want to," Beth told him as she lowered her head to his shoulder.

His arm found its way around to her back, pressing softly there. Beth could hear his rapid heart beating in his chest. She pulled her body to the edge of his, not tightly, not to overwhelm him, but close enough to try and soothe both.

The bravery she had just felt seconds before in her decision to tell Daryl seemed to leave her. Beth didn't want to tell Daryl. She didn't want to talk about him… Gorman. She had fought hard to try and forget about him. She thought she had done a pretty good job of it except for at night when she couldn't control her haunting dreams. She doesn't want to think about his eyes roaming over her. She doesn't want to remember the feel of his skin, rough and dry against her. Beth never wanted to think about that again, at least not while she was awake.

Beth curled her fist into his t-shirt, clutching it for some kind of strength. She knew she needed to say it. She needed to tell him. Her hauntings at night might never stop if she didn't. Daryl needed her to start the conversation that was needed between them.

"His name was Gorman," she whispered, not liking the meekness in her voice.

Daryl stiffened under her, altered by her tone. Beth smoothed her hand out, letting the cloth of his shirt even out. She blew out a stabilizing breathing, she had to do this.

"Gorman was one of the people who took him. He hit me, knocked me out and took me from the funeral home. I woke up there at Grady. Alone and in pain. That's how my wrist and forehead got messed up," Beth explained, trying not to let the bad memories flood forward as she spoke. "Dawn was the one who did my cheek. She hit me when I disobeyed. Hard. I was her ward, her replacement for Noah. She was bad too, but she didn't scare me… not like Gorman did."

Beth could almost feel Daryl vibrating with tension under her. She didn't want him to be upset but also knew Daryl needed to hear this. They both had to know.

"At first it was just… just looking and talking, you know. Gorman was always watching me. His eyes on me, looking at me like… like he could see everything I had on underneath. And then it was more. It was touching. It started with a bump in the hallway, a touch from behind if I wasn't being aware. I always had to be ware. I had to make sure I was with someone all the time. I had to listen for footsteps in the hallway. I just had to."

Beth nipped at her lower lip, a nervousness entering her. "Then Noah and I tried to escape. We needed the key from Dawn's office. Gorman found me there… alone. He cornered me. He touched me, he told me he wanted me to be friendly with him. I knew it was bullshit. He was going to force me like he did with Joan. I didn't have a choice. I needed that key so I let him touch me. I let him put his hands on me…"

"Beth…" Daryl croaked hoarsely.

Daryl was trying to spare her pain of talking. Perhaps even him from knowing. Either way, she wasn't stopping. She had to let it all out.

"Joan was in the room, but Gorman hadn't seen her. She had killed herself. Joan had been his ward. She couldn't take him anymore. She had tried to escape and lost her arm in the process. There was no way I could have lived under him either. While he was touching me, his hands on my skin, I found something heavy… something hard. I broke it against his head. He wasn't going to win. Gorman fell to the floor. Joan got him… or the thing that used to be Joan did," Beth explained with a hint of venom in her words. Her hatred for the man that had destroyed so many lives laced in when she spoke of his death.

After that was out, more came easier for her. Beth told Daryl more about her time at Grady. She told him about Dawn and her shaky dictatorship. She spoke about Doctor Edwards and his cowardice. She detailed the hopeless wards and the sterile false hope that kept the place going. Beth told him about being alone and afraid, trying to stay strong and to stay alive. Daryl listened quietly, his hand rubbing small reassuring circles against the small of her back.

When Beth was done, she raised her head up slightly, just enough that her chin rested on his chest so she could see Daryl in profile. "I had to tell you all that, Daryl."

Daryl gave her a look, one that showed he didn't understand.

"You had to know that part. See… I like what we have, Daryl. I want what we have. I think I'm ready for more between us, but I won't really know until it happens. I don't want to think about Gorman when we are ready. I don't want to but I know it could happen so I understand why you pulled away. You aren't ready and that's okay," Beth whispered with finality. It would always be okay. They had time.

For a long time there was nothing but quiet and dark between them. The couple continued to lay together, Beth curling herself back up at Daryl's side. His arm was still protectively holding her close. Her hand placed gently over his beating heart.

His voice was hoarse and low when he broke the night silence. "What… what if I ain't ever ready?"

Beth winched at the hurt in his voice. Who had hurt him so badly that those thoughts were in his head? Her heart pained, physically hurting in her chest.

Before she was able to respond, Daryl spoke again. "What if I can't?" he questioned with a rasp.

Beth knew he could. She had felt the pressure against her leg before. Daryl had never tried to grind against her, if anything he protected her in a way she didn't understand. Jimmy and Zach had never felt that obligation.

"I'm not going anywhere," Beth reassured him in hushed tones as she rose to look at him. It took a moment, but she finally locked on to his avoiding dark blue eyes. "This is about us. Just us. We can be okay with whatever we want to be okay with." There would be no pressure from her, this journey she wanted them to make comfortably together.

Daryl looked away from her, his features darkening. He wasn't happy with himself, a disgusted frown deepening on his face. "Maybe you should go. Shouldn't have to be saddled with this shit." His arm started to leave its place at her back.

Beth had to control the anger that flashed brightly before her eyes. "Don't you dare tell me that again, Daryl Dixon." She pulled his chin back towards her even if his eyes wouldn't meet hers again. "I can put up with a lot as I'm sure you can from me, but don't you dare hurt me by sayin' that again." Her voice dropped a tone, softened. "Like there would be anyone else in the world for me."

His eyes darted back to her, surprised. Daryl said nothing; a huffing grunt was his only response after a moment. At least Daryl was remembering she wasn't a force to be moved.

His real apology came as Daryl pulled her back down to him, tucking her even more tightly next and up against him. Beth let herself rest against his shoulder once more, for the first time really relaxing since their romantic session had ended.

Her eyes had just closed when she heard him mumble, "Did it help?"

"What?" she questioned, not really understanding what Daryl was asking.

Daryl cleared his throat. "Talkin' about it. About what happened."

Beth considered what he was asking for a moment. "I think so. I haven't talked about him with anyone. I dream about him sometimes and I don't like it. I don't want to remember him but by telling you about it… I feel… I feel better… maybe lighter, I guess."

There was a grunt of understanding. "Book says you should talk about it."

Daryl was speaking of the book he carried in his pack; Beth had seen it in his pack before. She had seen him reading the book in bed before. Nothing was ever said about it, nothing was ever asked.

"I don't think I'm ready," Daryl admitted tightly.

"Then don't. Not yet. If and when you are, I'll listen. Just know that you can talk to me when you want to," Beth told him quietly. "You and me, Daryl. We can do this."

You and me," he agreed.


End file.
